Relapse.
Tripped and fallen, traps of mine are laid inside my trapped in mind, I’m running laps, I’m sprinting, I’m- hoping I’ll relapse in time
But I’ve rewrapped half the raps I’ve rhymed because I’m far from satisfied, there’s gotta be a better me and stagnancy would be a crime
So to the boundary I am pressing it, I refuse to give no less than it, my life’s an active beta and I’m the one who’s testing it
Perfection is my duty though I know that is impossible, yet here I keep progressing so perhaps perfection’s plausible
Words spoken from my chest like it’s the only shit I’m giving and I’m not a stranger to death, it’s always present while you’re living
I’m not afraid to die, but sometimes I’m afraid to live, is the sacrifice of going on worth all the shit you give?
Yo, once I had this friend I knew back in my hometown, life was too much for him and now my heart is home-bound
Yeah, when I received the message..I couldn’t believe my eyes, there’s no way that this is happening, yo this must be lies
In that moment I just thought of it, the spread of all the heartbreak, I was thousands of miles away and I even I wished I could restart fate
There must have been another route, another voice, another way, switch me to some other universe where you made the choice to stay
Why can’t it be like that? We can’t accept the loss, we’re fighting it, even as I write this song I’m choked up while reciting it
Even now my vision’s clouded, tears have made it all be fuzzy, and I know I’m not alone while thinking: “Fuck, I miss you, Muzzy”
That’s truly when it hit me like a body to the pavement, the alcohol had tilted me and almost made me cave in
We could have been the same and endured that cold descent, but for you, Muzzy, I live, and refused that bitter end
You would have wanted me to be happy so my heart goes out to you, not religious but I pray that you live on in skies of blue
I’m grateful for the times we had and all the laughs we shared, at my graduation party, man, I’m glad that you were there
Where did all the time go? That felt like it was yesterday, were life a tape and I the hand I’d rewind the shit and press play
Anything to get it back, anything to set it right, fall down seven times, stand up eight, we were always taught to fight
So I put that bottle down and released all of the toxins, sobered up and opened up, dumped out the naproxen
Hit the gym and worked it out, I vented the frustration, I found that I could channel this adrenaline sensation
From there I only built up like a mason, yo, I strengthened it, accepted life for what it is and I’m glad that I have lengthened it
Every challenge that I’ve come across, obstacle, I’m facing it, I’ve found the will to live again and now there’s no replacing it
I swear that I will hold that, promise I won’t fold back, when life goes south, turn on a dime and convince myself that I am fine
No matter what will come up I’ll keep heading for my prime and always I’ll be thankful knowing I relapsed in time.
Tripped and fallen, traps of mine are laid inside my trapped in mind, I’m running laps, I’m sprinting, I’m- hoping I’ll relapse in time
But I’ve rewrapped half the raps I’ve rhymed because I’m far from satisfied, there’s gotta be a better me and stagnancy would be a crime
So to the boundary I am pressing it, I refuse to give no less than it, my life’s an active beta and I’m the one who’s testing it
Perfection is my duty though I know that is impossible, yet here I keep progressing so perhaps perfection’s plausible
Words spoken from my chest like it’s the only shit I’m giving and I’m not a stranger to death, it’s always present while you’re living
I’m not afraid to die, but sometimes I’m afraid to live, is the sacrifice of going on worth all the shit you give?
Yo, once I had this friend I knew back in my hometown, life was too much for him and now my heart is home-bound
Yeah, when I received the message..I couldn’t believe my eyes, there’s no way that this is happening, yo this must be lies
In that moment I just thought of it, the spread of all the heartbreak, I was thousands of miles away and I even I wished I could restart fate
There must have been another route, another voice, another way, switch me to some other universe where you made the choice to stay
Why can’t it be like that? We can’t accept the loss, we’re fighting it, even as I write this song I’m choked up while reciting it
Even now my vision’s clouded, tears have made it all be fuzzy, and I know I’m not alone while thinking: “Fuck, I miss you, Muzzy”
That’s truly when it hit me like a body to the pavement, the alcohol had tilted me and almost made me cave in
We could have been the same and endured that cold descent, but for you, Muzzy, I live, and refused that bitter end
You would have wanted me to be happy so my heart goes out to you, not religious but I pray that you live on in skies of blue
I’m grateful for the times we had and all the laughs we shared, at my graduation party, man, I’m glad that you were there
Where did all the time go? That felt like it was yesterday, were life a tape and I the hand I’d rewind the shit and press play
Anything to get it back, anything to set it right, fall down seven times, stand up eight, we were always taught to fight
So I put that bottle down and released all of the toxins, sobered up and opened up, dumped out the naproxen
Hit the gym and worked it out, I vented the frustration, I found that I could channel this adrenaline sensation
From there I only built up like a mason, yo, I strengthened it, accepted life for what it is and I’m glad that I have lengthened it
Every challenge that I’ve come across, obstacle, I’m facing it, I’ve found the will to live again and now there’s no replacing it
I swear that I will hold that, promise I won’t fold back, when life goes south, turn on a dime and convince myself that I am fine
No matter what will come up I’ll keep heading for my prime and always I’ll be thankful knowing I relapsed in time.
Forever?
Oh, my darling,
If only you could see what war has done to me.
Oh, my darling,
If only you could see what war has done to me.
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