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Adam's M00sik - Printable Version

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Adam's M00sik - deific - 05-16-2015

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Adam's M00sik - deific - 05-16-2015

Serenity


Backspace, before all the chapters and wack plays, before all the words came together in that way.
Back to the beginning where we had no identity, peace late at night, lost in silence, serenity.
Let's turn over the pages and revel in the unknown, life like a glass house before there's a stone thrown.
A stone throne, the cold embrace of the armrest, non-blessed, you can't win the game or the contest.
Correspondence with the contents of my conscience, while humans exist I say that peace is nonsense.
If you confide in yourself you'll find that pride is help, time is felt when the rhyme is dealt.

It's like we're aging endlessly, will you grant me penance please? This ain't a complaint or a whiny senseless plea.
I desire tranquility in this damaged facility, by the time this song's done I'm sure you'll have had your fill of me.
Whether it's forward or backward, we're actors, life's a film better captured, that's sure.
Rapture, apocalypse, there's no sense in stopping this, it's destiny, this discrepancy, that I've been sent to see.
And it's peace that I'm after with my sword of serenity, I swear I won't quit, you'll never see the end of me.
A jail cell, locked in a fortress of solitude, my own hell, stuck in a vortex, like solid glue.

It's time that I meditate and look through my open mind, this world is my past and present, I will not be left behind
And deep in your soul you'll find a life worth living, and a person who makes you feel your soul's worth giving,
They'll make you feel like they're giving your breath, like lack of their presence would be cause of your death
In the blink of the eye they're gone in the absence, absinthe, left in the pain and the sadness
Madness, swarmed with the rage and the badness, I miss the times where I had you, you had this.
And in the stillness I swear I'm falling even further, panic inside my head sets when I hear your murmur

But I'll find a calm in the weather, skin tough as leather, tone down my passion, put two and two together
Figure out the problem and the means to solve it, closure's a hard thing to find, resolve it
This is my attempt to spread my wings and fly, not be buried in my burdens, self-destruct, die.
Shift the gears and gain a positive outlook, look back into my past and realize the route took
Nevermind the failures and falters that we've suffered, just remember that there's a better part ushered
It drifts in the wind like a careless melody, if I die, I'll go to Heaven, there's always been a Hell in me

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Adam's M00sik - deific - 05-16-2015

Thoughts


Let's travel in the back of my thoughts where all of the pain's stowed, you can't walk it off if you keep walkin' the same road,
I find myself trapped in this recycling same route, like the gun's locked and loaded, but the frame just won't shoot,
I'm not speaking of a film, man, this is real life, I can't do it on my own, Dad, I need some advice,
But I know that there is a continent of space that lies between us, I remember all our good times, man you shoulda' seen us,
I swear that there were moments where we were really happy, and I don't care anymore that there were times where you were snappy,
'Cause you are still my father and know that I am here for you, and know that all my life I've just wanted to be dear to you
And I'm sorry that I don't call or even send a message, but I've gotta piece myself together, it's like it's a presage
I'm not thinking of Heaven man, it's just all this Hell shit, it's hard to ask for help without sounding so selfish,


And how could I justify being a leader when I appear to be a pathetic victim advocate of fear
But don't feel sorry for me, this isn't a pity show, I'm just revealing some shit that I think you should really know
And that is that I'm well aware I am far from perfect, I may seem egotistical, but that's just on the surface,
There's a storm brewing, yeah, it ruptures my insides, I'm lost in the sea, can't come in on the high tides
These are my thoughts and they are my prison, a grudge match with myself 'cause I've never forgiven
And that is why I'm askin' for aid in this situation, but I have hesitation, don't wanna fall prey to dissertation,


There's this feeling in the pit of my stomach, I find it sickening, everything's going too fast, my thoughts are quickening
I see all of their happiness and I burn inside with jealousy, how can one capture another's heart so breathlessly
I don't understand and I'm overwhelmed with bitterness, isn't there some form of fate to give me deliverance?
I keep walking back and forth and thinking the same thing, that no matter how hard I try I can't get over this pain thing
They say that minds are treasure troves, they're worth a fortune, but whenever I enter mine I just leave feeling tortured
It's not fair, I don't care, I'm fucking sick of this despair, for once I'd like to find someone who might actually care


'Cause these thoughts, they're ringing, I block them out by singing, leave me spinning, no winning, pissed off and swinging
But at nothing 'cause in reality nobody's really there, I swear I tried to call for help but my words were lost in air
And it feels like I'm choking because I can hardly breathe, these thoughts refuse to leave me and I fall apart, I seethe,
I'm not gonna stand here and act like I'm desperate, but if you wanna help me out, you can be my guest, that's it
You can stand there and say that change'll never exist, but remember the devil's an angel, will you really persist?
My mind's a space to fill in, a place where I can kill in, how could I be the Hero when I'm already the Villain?


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Adam's M00sik - deific - 05-16-2015

Home


I've been lost inside the cadence and caught within the symphony, yet I've found the strength to say this, I think I've reached an epiphany
That while I've sat here and stared out at the blooming horizon, my heartbeat is rising at all the things to sink my eyes in
It's welcoming, this homage, yet I've been rejecting it all these days, I've been looking for other ways to find where the passion stays
I've become sick of complacency and just can't help but wonder why, it seems like my heart is bleeding, but my eyes remain dry
Is it demanding, is it commanding? I've risen to face these brutal tides, sympathetic, understanding? Have I overbound myself, my strides?
There's a peace to be found and a happiness to be had, but neither of those can be realized when you focus on the bad


There's rolling hills and towering trees, I can see across the valley farly, but my vision becomes obscured and I hate it, I'm sorry
But at the end of the day who am I even saying that to? My thoughts? What's new. I've found my hopes so far and few.
The winds are picking up and the storm is looming overhead, but this time I'm speaking of nature, not the inclement in my head
And even with this breath I'm stealing, it cuts down through my throat, with all the stitches in my heart I'm feeling, I could write an anecdote.
All the cuts and gashes, wounds and lacerations, could cause an increase in blood pressure and palpitations,
In which the race is internal and so is all the passion, we've cut all our ties to each other in a similar fashion.


I feel the time that's passed, maybe I'll be fine at last, when I'm overlooking all my actions in a manner too fast,
Because when the speed goes slow my very thoughts they grow, and I reach these revelations I thought I'd never know
But there's no voice in the clouds or watcher in the sky, so when I'm sitting on this hill I have myself to ask "Why?"
Why did you leave this place, why did you leave all these people, this should be the end of your story, don't make it a sequel
These chapters are torn and you have to repair them, between the lines lie your colors, now swear that you'll wear them
The spine has creases from your emotional releases, but this is a book, not a window, you don't have to pick up the pieces


It's a place to come back to, the place where you started, in the end we all know that home is where the heart is,
Regardless of your past and all the pain that's connected, you find that time changes everything, even things you expected
It's a beautiful feeling when you feel so accepted, that nothing is really wrong, including things you suspected
And even if a suspicion has surfaced, it'll soon be banished, we hunger for ends to our ties, but yet we're still famished
'Cause the roots are dug deep and hold firm in the harshest tempest, it'd take more than a simple apprentice to end this
A magic connection tethered to your mind and soul, that when you're feeling empty home can make you feel whole


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Adam's M00sik - deific - 05-16-2015

Pieces


Time's inside of me, my life's alive in me, I tried to rule my emotions but they don't abide by me
They don't care what I'm envisioning or thinking of my future, they've cut into my thoughts and I'm trying to make a suture
But the needle is shaking and my resolve is breaking, deep down since the start, my heart's been aching
It's a repetitive story of a snake eating itself, when I'm fighting against the mirror I'm only beating myself
And it's because of that fight that I'm making no ground, but I won't give up 'till my heart ceases to pound
It's a cliche journey that only seems to concern me, if I give the people a chance, they'd take it, they'll burn me


But Adam, isn't that the reason you're fighting? Spending your time writing about the pain that's inciting
And I know it's not exciting, yeah I know that it hurts, but don't give any power to the hatred that lurks
'Cause it'll take it and get stronger, man, I tell you, life's longer, if you think this is the end then you've never been wronger
It's the beginning, the path, you can calm down your wrath, there's a sickness you can't see, it's an idiopath
So follow the trails and steady hallow your fails, in this story lies a legend, and the song tells the tales
I know that they're leaving and that you're right by grieving, but keep your lungs open, that's right, keep breathing


You shouldn't have to say that, man, you know that you're better, I know your mind's chaos, it's time to calm the weather
Your parents had their problems and you were forced to tag along, over time you lost track of what's right and what's wrong
And their struggles damaged them but they didn't think of you, back then you were a child despite what you'd been through
Inside you wanted so bad to just scream at the world, you didn't have time to think about love or a girl
Their trust fell to pieces, you tried to put it together, but there's no reward at the end of this endeavor, whatever
But maybe this is something they can sort out themselves, I'm not looking for the help of an angel that fell


You once were a tree, now you're left but a stump, I wouldn't call this a song, it's an emotional dump
Leaves me looking vulnerable and probably susceptible, and with this life I'm leading that's hardly acceptable
But I've run out of keys, I've even run out of doors, there's no telling what lies behind mine, beyond yours
And I've been straining my eyes to find a just end, but when push comes to shove, don't break, you must bend
There's a lyrical meaning in this linguistical script, it isn't just a joke or some satirical shit
Back then I'd throw a temper-tantrum, an emotional fit, but now I accept what's happened and I'm done, that's it.


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Adam's M00sik - deific - 05-16-2015

A Symphony of Colors


People born of certain color think that they deserve respect, but all these colors drain when a knife's pressed to their neck,
All that's present in Psychology, society, misology, we've reached a time in age where hatred supersedes apology,
Reds, blues, greens and yellows, segregation at its finest, fellows, I'm a man of a Capella, I'm immaculate, I bellow
Is it really all a color wheel, minds are free, but lips are sealed, I've tried for so long to reach the middle ground, yeah, I appealed.
Bitter history is bloody and we've painted it in color, but when has that justified the hating of one-another?
'Cause you are me and I am you, but literally we are different, two, individuals with their own fate, form and future too.


When we look at the colors of nature, it's amazing, we see beauty, but when we see each other's faces, it's uncanny, we're just moody,
It's like there's still bad blood, a disease with no cure, but even when you wash your hands you're clean, not pure,
We associate it with art because without it, it's a travesty, like when your eyes are absent of color, it's a tragedy
But even if a picture's taken, a moment can never be perfect, we're already out, it does no good if you work it
And it seems with this blind hatred we're funding all our enemies, this is the root of our problem, let's approach it somewhat sensibly
This isn't a breakthrough and it'll never be a crescendo, but sometimes when I look at the cycles of our lives, I see the end though,


They say that red is our anger, arrogance and our volcanity, what if the real image of red looks at us with insanity?
And blue is our sadness, depression and our loneliness, your friend dropped out of school and he's been such a stoner since,
But we feel free to engage these petty problems so close, when we point fingers at each other, the separation, it grows
That's why I'm sitting here and transcribing this message, somewhere along the line we've overlooked all the wreckage
Some glass is transparent, but you still can't go through it, I feel like we've been placed on opposing sides and we knew it
When will you learn that there are bigger problems at hand, we leap over each other, when will we understand?


That's why I can't take these people serious with equality, how can you pick a side in it like it's a political policy?
There's nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so, if I asked you what our problem is, do you think you would know?
We exist in our ambitions that're built upon prejudice, we think that we're all right, but we're lost inside our selfishness
You fight for what you love, but is what you love really right? And if it is, why are you crying by yourself every night?
Maybe if you tried to stop and understand them from the start, you'd see that all these people have something in common, a heart.
We come from a place where our passion is lethal, but I'd like to think that we're still a compassionate people.


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Adam's M00sik - deific - 05-16-2015

Insomnia


I stare at the walls and the ceiling that enclose me in my mast, it's siphoning out my thoughts unruly that are focused on my past
And it seems that I just get passed in every lane that I progress, I can't find my rest and I'm sleeping less and less, I digress
There's a haunted image of me floating above me in my mental carapace, I stare at it, it has no face and refuses to ever leave this place
I close my eyes and it still yields hold, it reminds me of when the times were told, I would be free of myself, and yet, the truth unfolds
But if I speak up they'd be quick to place me in an institution, and all these god-fearing-folk would try to purify me through retribution
And that's not something that I could readily or easily accept, in your trials with insomnia does the judge say you're inept?


That you're never ever going to be the one that they're all going to see, my life's just filled with feats and falters, yeah, it's like a coin to me
My eyes are wide open, they're bloodshot from all this losing sleep, laid back in my bed, I've gotten awfully good at counting sheep
It'd seem they're endless and their numbers are ever consistently growing, the persistence is showing where all my darkest thoughts are stowing
It brings them to light only to prove they're covered in darkness, it starts this growing pain located right where my heart is
It spreads through my bones and ligaments, leaves me basking in bitterness, broken and sick of this, I've learned what a stigma is
And it goes like this, when the fire gets roaring, don't resist, just let the flames wash over you and yes I insist, no twist, raise your middles, get fucking pissed


Let the emotions out and take their course whether it's good or better, just find their source by utilizing diplomatic means, or by using force
So get down on your knees and put some prayers in, in desperate hope that it'll remove the sayer's sin, when the real truth utterly pales in comparison
These complications were created by none-other than ourselves, and if it helps, we're all living in different levels of our Hells
And the flames all burn the same color, one is another, we live undercover in a world where one must be a fighter or lover, we suffer
But wait.. I've strayed from the topic, I guess it's hard to unlock sleep or cop this when insomnia breaks all of the lockpicks
I brought this, I rock this, smash it on the lock and drop this, there's no time that can clock this and no speed that can stop this


But what am I saying? Who am I fooling? There's plenty of anger fueling the negative aspirations where these thoughts are pooling
They're bonding together, their bond is stronger than mine, maybe it's a sign that at one point or another I'll be lost in time
Or have I lost my mind, or maybe I'm lost in mine? Oh sleep how you eluded me, left me confined in a world of vodka, rum, whiskey, and wine
And when my eyes close forever that eclipse will finally be achieved, it's a nightmare I perceive with the thousand thoughts that I weave
Coming together in a web like I'm the thread spun by the spider, stuck now in place and it's too late to try to run or hide or,
Find and confide her, who's the decider, how can you pretend to be her provider when in your own head you've become the outsider


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9VEt6fMwa4&ab_channel=RapBeats



Adam's M00sik - deific - 05-16-2015

Condescension


Starting aggressively, like I'm focused obsessively on the weak points and falters of all of those who are less than me,
Emotionally feeble, these sensitive people are too centered on the better parts of the lesser of two evils,
They're wrongly led and misguided, and so are all the thoughts provided, we're locked in a stalemate, still left undecided
Weakness is not a good thing and ignorance is not a virtue, if you accept either I only have one goal: To hurt you,
No problem in eradication, purging, or obliteration, we reside in a prideful yet completely lost and hopeless nation
Where society's fucked and so are the people abiding, a facade of equality where all the weaker are hiding


And for better or worse it's time to be the decision-maker, or be trapped in an alleyway and become the incision-taker
Surgically cut open and bled out for people to take you, you haven't fought for your life, what'll you do when they make you?
You're the ultimate conscience, don't be lost in assumptions, the stronger you are--like words, the better the conjunctions
There's nothing wrong with being strong, what the fuck are you thinking? This backwards syncing, I'll take whatever that man is drinking.
Drunk off his ass, irresponsible with no rivals, but humorously enough that seems to be the image of our idols
But we don't see no maliciousness and I tell you I am sick of this, I'm not standing on a pedestal and preaching about conceiving bliss


I'm finding magnanimity in the core of humanity, we're an incredible species when we're embracing our vanity
Pride is a sin because it has got us so very far, I shot for the skies and I hit all the farthest stars
They call me rigid, no, I've just listened to life's lessons, when you accept only the best you'll find that the strife lessens
Stop bitching about your mediocre trials and small problems, you're living in a first world country, yeah, we've all got 'em!
There's a bigger picture that you haven't yet even grasped, and part of me loves the idea of really kicking your ass
'Cause you're preposterous and pitiful, predetermined and piss-poor, I'm not talking of your financial status, no, I'm saying MORE,


If you want something that bad then go out there and fucking get it, the only reason failure finds you is because you fucking let it
This isn't a maze or some complicated cruel puzzle, if you stay meek in silence you'll end up like another fool muzzled,
And that's where they want you, fed this propaganda shit, if you want to be a person of power, be yourself, that's it,
Call me an asshole, condescending, and think I care, but in the harshest part of the storm, you'll find I'm there
Not the eye, but the rings, I'm testing out my wings, I'm searching for the truth and the light it brings
And even if that truth is completely claimed by evil, I will bring it to the eye for the better of the people
There's no limit to the thoughts and things I'd do, to reach all of my goals and seek them through, it's true
Ground-bound, you're stuck to the Earth, I flew, and that is what separates me and you.


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Adam's M00sik - deific - 05-16-2015

We Can Save This


I feel the room is spinning as our time is dwindling, our roaring fire reduced to kindling, stuck in thought on what life's to mean, the life we'll live, the life we've seen
And above all else I just hate to fight you, even if you're wrong, you'll fight, despite you, I put on a mask but you see right through, and you refuse to talk, so I'll just write you
I know it seems to be a pretty poor substitute, but I can't think straight, I'm so in love with you, and as we reach a point of retrograde, I think about what love would do
It tells me to stay, not to make my exodus, there's this word called "effort", encircled with emphasis, my heart's been locked down in prison, can you tell me what the sentence is?
I was reminded that my heart wasn't left with me, you sealed the deal when you swallowed the key, just to prove that we were meant to be, I would have stolen the stars, or parted the sea
When clouded by anger I still find my virtue, remember that day I swore I'd never hurt you, and I understand if you want some space, slow the pace, love's not a race


You could trek the world and I'd still be here, waiting forever and ever, my dear, who'd think that love was a thing I would cherish, from time to time I had thoughts of marriage
But then I knew I was getting ahead of myself, am I reaching for Heaven or the bed of my Hell? A demon beheld by memories, I fell, I said I was in pain and you said you could tell
But then you took me and held me, said it'd be all okay, this is still love, we're living day after day, an immediate cool of my engines that calmed the fire of my vengeance
And I found in your arms this overwhelming serenity, you embraced me and my identity, and it's in these moments that I feel there's hope, you're the reason I'm here, the reason I cope
With your head on my heart, you hear all my chest beats, the pause in the seconds, the life that has left me, I feel like I am a pawn on this board, nothing but a chess piece
You say some things just to get a rise in me, you're not despising me, just sizing me, pushing my buttons just to see if I'll crack, and when I start to get distant you put me on track


But part of you just loves to see me so mad, when I'm sick of the bullshit and pain that I've had, 'till I'm twisted with torment and nothing but sad, you put your hands on my face, become the end of the bad
So I'm wondering and I'm pondering, sometimes I find my mind's wandering, how could you be the drug that sedates me, you'd accuse me, then you'd abate me
And all this shit has become so confusing, I have strife in my life, but I'm still losing, but even with that yet I refuse to let go, you're the love of my life, I'm certain, I know
I want you to know that I think we can save this, it's a beautiful flower, both of us made this, and what if we both have the same wish? To live in a life and relation that's painless
But this is no fairy-tale written in text, you are no Queen and I am no King, but with all the trials and problems and things that we've conquered, I swear we could be the same thing
Take these words to your heart and be serious, I am anything all but delirious, don't you remember the things that we've gone through, I have, and I'm writing this song too


These are feats that we should be proud of, if I could speak my mind, I'd scream louder, and these people would hear me going on endlessly if they asked what I loved about her
Call me a sappy romantic, I really don't care, I still breathe in her presence, the scent of her hair, and sometimes when I catch myself looking at her I find that it's easy to stare
'Cause you're magical and I get lost in it, I built a bridge, but I'm still crossing it, and I'd put all my effort and energy into this until I've utterly exhausted it
So when I find that we've reached a state of decay, there's no limit or boundary to the price that I'd pay to keep you convinced, that there's no other way, your love is my life, don't take it away
But it's the little things that chip away at our structure, it's hard to fix a heart when it ruptures, but I'd stitch it together, remend it, whatever, I hate to see you suffer
I'd fall to my knees, hit the ground and recover, turn over the atlas, I'd search for another, give you all the reason, depart from the treason, to convince you to still be my lover


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i84_-rMjxss



Adam's M00sik - deific - 05-16-2015

Mortality


End of the road of where it began, I'm finding it harder and harder to stand, I'm sick of the cards I've been dealt with, and I'm folding them hand by hand
'Till eventually I'm out like a survivor with nothing left, gotta balance work and my school, and I'm stressed with another test
With my grades steadily declining in a similar fashion to my circle, and I'm finding it ever-so hurtful when they decide to berate me verbal
And it's time I separated myself from friends who don't even care, loneliness is part of the scare, they don't even notice that I'm there
I'm phasing through these walls like I'm a ghost, an apparition, and I never would have figured that I would have been put in this position
So do the ends justify the means, what is my life? What if I end it? My life is all in pieces because I break before I can bend it


So by a certain logic am I cursed by this ineptitude, a sickness in me crept and brewed, how to scream for help and be less than rude
Because I feel oh-so burdensome, I've been abandoned by my shadow, and I've run out of ammo because life is a constant battle
And it's far beyond the surface because these wounds are more than scars, it's time I left this Earth in peace and conjoined with all the stars
I've been crushed by lack of sleeping and this detrimental depression, my bones all break in sections as I try to hold off this suppression
So in a subtle manner that would mean I'm ending my life, end of the hurt, end of the pain, and it's all thanks to this knife
With my being consumed by selfishness I can say I gave life a try, as I go opposed to the sky, I am telling you, Goodbye


We found you locked in the bathroom in a pool of your own blood, I swear my heart skipped a beat as my eyes began to flood
And these tears came crashing down as they spilled over my cheeks, you've been isolating yourself, you've haven't spoken to us in weeks
But still part of me wants to believe that this is all my fault, you never reached out or called, we never thought that you would fall
So how can we help when you fake a smile, there wasn't even a clue, you seemed so composed on the surface, are you sure you thought this through?
The act's already committed so it's too late for us to save you, but I wish that you would have understood all the good things that life gave you
And I guess the plight of life had deeply stricken you with fear, maybe if we tried a little harder then you would still be here


But she proved to me and everyone else that none of us are invincible, and it's hard to find it sensible when we don't live life by the same principle
That life is sacred, don't cast it down, time beheaded a queen and she lost her crown, goes to show how little we knew her, our understandings less than profound
So the weight of the world has shifted from her shoulders to our own, we never thought of her a burden, or that she thought she was alone
From the day of the dawn to the horizon that blooms infront of the sunset, I've been searching for ways to get you back, but I haven't found one yet
Because the situation in itself seems is lacking in morality, there's no way to bring you back when you've embraced your immortality



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5SgkJu5jr0U



Adam's M00sik - deific - 05-16-2015

Inadequacy


I felt her eyes bore into me as "Goodbye" was spoken, I thought that I was chokin' and she suffered a similar token
But the difference between she and I was something so vague, and all the self-doubt in my center, it spread like a plague
I can't forget these memories, I'm trying to fight it, but these pictures won't burn, yeah this lighter won't light it
This bitter battle, tug-of-war is somethin' to see, and if the prize is being left, then the winner is me
And that ain't right, and I've come this far to understand, that women may very well be the weakness of man
At the end of my travels I find I'm lost in the irony, and all this anger in my heart ignites the fire in me


It's like you're getting somewhere then all of your goals are stripped, and my back has held the weight despite the lashes and whips
An emotional slave that was wrapped around her finger, she caught me in her web, then stabbed me with her stinger
And the poison in my veins has rendered me so numb, and I've come to the consensus, fuck emotions, they're dumb
There's a flame inside my core but I'd rather be cold, don't you know the world is changed by the young and the bold
I'm gritting my teeth and steadily clenching my jaw, I've held so much inside me that it'd leave 'em stricken in awe
That if I brought it to the open, man, they'd think me a monster, I hope she sees my face in her dreams, and I hope that it haunts her


I'm not good at holding grudges but I never forgive, if I keep myself on stable ground, I'm standing, I'll live
In the end I can only hope she suffers a similar fate, lately I've made her the focus of all my passion and hate
It's like there's still spite in me despite the fact I've let go, and I don't want her to be happy and I'm afraid that might show
And in front of the publicity this makes me the bad guy, and my feelings are pouring rain from the clouds of this sad sky
At the bottom of the bottle, alcohol is the reasoning, from the fruit of my labors, liquor is the seasoning
In this downward spiral I think I have to confess, I'm the guy in this relationship, why am I an emotional mess?


The feeling of never being good enough has never been worse, and it's almost like I was born with this incurable curse
That I can't seem to evade even in the darkness and shade, I've made this strife my bed, it's time I finally laid
'Cause I've come to accept that I'm moving no further, that girl's in my past, that's the last place that I heard her
At the end of the day I'd agree that she got me, she held the gun to my chest, cocked, loaded and shot me
And I should be dead inside but I'm standing right here, this betrayal of trust, this remembrance of fear
Has me opening my eyes and understanding from my core, she was the love of my life, but she loves me no more.



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Adam's M00sik - deific - 05-16-2015

Agony


In one second I was fine, there was nothing there but shine, but all of the scenery changed when that knife sunk into my spine
And I screamed out in anguish, this wasn't a game, but I was played, and now I understand how it feels to actually be betrayed
And no lie it's a feeling that I would have loved to have lost, I wouldn't have squared up on that boss if I knew that this was the cost
I'm throwing the towel in, it's not worth it, I'm just DONE, I know I'm not one to shun, But I thought that you were THE ONE
I thought I was mad before, but now there's hatred burning deeper, and it's impossible to evade it because this cliff is getting steeper
And I'm convinced by my thoughts that this has become a lost cause, if I could have fit your neck in my maw, I would have crushed it with my jaws


And I know that by the latest, I'm not sane, I'm a sadist, if I couldn't write about what hate is, then I would have gone on my hiatus
I wouldn't have come back, and man I swear, that's the truth, next time she says that she loves me, I'm gonna ask her, WHERE'S THE PROOF?
I've fallen to my knees and my heart is upon the floor, you said you'd tear down my wall, but now it's higher than ever before
I'm gripping at my hair and I'm watching the people stare, and you might say I'm being unfair, but now I tell you, I DON'T CARE
I'm causing a scare from how unstable that I may seem, but now I'll show you the beauty of creating a nightmare from a dream
I'm the God of this realm and you can do anything else but stand it, you held my heart in your palm, now I'm telling you to unhand it


It's like there's knives in my stomach, you've left me feeling so twisted, now I'm feeling the aftermath and damage that one wish did
Is it too late for me to repent where I've gone and where I've went, asking you for two cents, was the effort wasted I spent?
I thought that there was a bond and that my arms were holding it strongly, I would have held you 'till the end, but then you had to go and wrong me
And now my faith has faded and you've left me solely jaded, I had one layer of trust, and you managed to have flayed it
You fooled me under your shroud, faking sorry, are you proud? You once were an individual, now you're a face among the crowd
Despite all of the deepness, enter our thoughts, enter the sequence, and though you've left me speechless I would never expose your secrets


With all these wounds that you've tore into me, I guess pain now just don't mean shit to me, simply, or simply be I would rather just write a symphony
Since I've been taken off my feet I guess that writing's my only outlet, but the pain is not the same, that's why I say don't worry about it
But how can you put a front up and pretend that you are caring, I thought the love between us was special, but I guess that you were sharing
Started a feeling in the pit of my stomach that has left me feeling sick, and I guess the time is counting down 'till I'll become another prick
Bottom line the truth is that I'm lucky I'm still living, and I've put a cap on my passion that I'm reluctant now of giving
I figured we were something, but then I found the truth and it saddened me, even if you were my Goddess, you became the source of my agony



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9d_qeEFvU4



Adam's M00sik - deific - 05-16-2015

Strength Within


I stand aloof and see I'm peaceful while so ostracized, listening to thunder overhead, it's become so harmonized
A storm brews violently, ripping forth and up, so fierce, it crumbles, I stand and fight my death, it seems that my fate has stumbled
The clouds blot together, the plot thickens, it's hysterical, blazing my path without a passion, care, pain or lull
Maybe I've been fighting a losing battle from the seeming start, separate my rib cage to see my bitter broken heart,
It's feverishly beating but in the apex I say there's hope, I'm a man of myself, I can't fall if I hold the rope
But I refuse to be trapped inside of this darkened catacomb, this is no tomb, I'm not lost, faithless, or alone


Found her in the corner, shaking, bleeding, streaming tears, grabbed her by the wrists, I'll be your inner strengths, I'll fight your fears
I held her high, higher than ever before, head in the clouds, this is your road to happiness, your time is now,
She turns away, painstaking determined that she must find herself, I mean when I say I can take away this timeless Hell
Turn her back and hold her still, look me straight in the eyes, these are words of wisdom I speak, I swear I tell no lies
I pulled her across the biggest gap, the greatest distance, all she wanted was for someone to value her and her existence
With the way her eyes are sunken sometimes I can't help but wonder, why, how many times must one try and tear their bonds asunder


I held her world on my shoulders and stood, call me Atlas, then defended her soul, stay back demons, you'll never have this
You see the funny thing is we've been down the same road, but different travels, and even if we think we control our destiny, the plan unravels
We're getting lost in the open doors, one thing that's strange is, no matter how well we see, we can't foresee the changes,
In our bodies, in our mind, a puzzle that's left undesigned, if I'm strong then I can prevent the weak from getting left behind
But I can't be there for everyone, sometimes not even myself, but I'm not just another face, book that's left on the shelf
We all must find our inner strength and hold it close, when you put your heart into your art, no one knows how far it goes


But I depict a shattered scene, ripped-up hopes and tattered dreams, this just goes to prove that reality is not what it seems
Life's a cruel game that has no rules, it kills off the fools, to what extent must mercy be drawn? When hatred pools.
This is what starts the danger, when you've overtaken by vivid anger, people can't help but look at you like you're a stranger,
They don't recognize that pained look that rests within your eyes, one that's made of pure despise, confusion, and sullen skies,
But with inner strength we'll banish this, reminisce and manage bliss, proof that there's a better side yet that can exist
Don't really care where you've been, or the times that you have sinned, all I ask is that you find and embrace the strength within



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Adam's M00sik - deific - 05-16-2015

Lost


I stand here staring at the sky, but what exactly do I see? Is there something out there greater and more important than me?
And don't take that the wrong way, I'm speaking on a general scale, I'm responsible for my wins, and evenly for my fails
To believe there's something omnipotent and we're weak, lowly low men? If I'm putting in effort I'm asking, where does it go then?
If we're destined to live one path, then tell me, why do we split? I try to live a good life, but I'm wondering, is that it?
Is that all that really matters, or is there simply more to the puzzle? These are only open ideas, and these questions make them rustle
But these days it seems that new ideas are something that's deemed toxic, and if I try to open my mind, it would hold and break the lockpick

The absence of evidence is something that still bothers me, they'd drill a hole in your head, perform a religious lobotomy
Dangerous operations, but these guys, they're not doctors, if you're a student of faith, then I guess God is your proctor
I feel like they're afraid of the dark, but can't escape it, they've given away control of their fate, now they can't shape it
Now isn't that tragic? Losing all that you are. You've sacrificed your own being for a world held afar
And it's all in your mind, this perception left twisted, religion named me a demon because I rebelled and resisted
It wasn't disrespect, it was a simple disagreement, it was a book that was written by man, we've placed faith in place of reason

But like sheep we follow along, herded into the pastures, we've lost our own identity, now we live by the word of pastors
Open your eyes and realize that these people are none different, they can't make it on their own so now they're looking for assistance
I'm not saying that we're weak, I'm not even saying we're helpless, but I'll be damned if a man condemns me to Hell, but somehow is still selfless
It's fucked up, I don't like it, there's no point where we can agree, God, you're the one I wanna see, there's a bone between you and me
Yeah I'm stepping up to your level, or perhaps I'm stooping low, you're an egotistical piece of shit and I just thought that you should know
I'm standing here with arms wide open waiting for you to smite me, and if you got a problem with what I'm saying, then guess what, you can bite me

Your book is full of lies and your story is full of sin, but yet YOU'RE going to forgive ME? I'm not going through this again,
But I understand beliefs are beliefs, they all are heavily varying, but don't you dare try to condemn somebody when they have their custom variant
You're nothing above us, nothing below us, because we created You, when we can't answer our own problems, it makes sense, it's what we do
I guess it's easy to see with me, I'm no man with a religion, but I've come to terms, I don't need you, I make my own decisions
And that's what true freedom is, you're not the one who supplies it, you try to hold with oppression, and damn every man that defies it
So in reality you're a tyrant, comfy, sipping from your cup, and when I finally meet my fate, you can bet I'm sizing you up



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Adam's M00sik - deific - 05-16-2015

Antihero


Tell me the heart of your fantasy, blasphemy, I'll cut out your existence if I give out the last of me
My final breath that's exceeding my lungs, pushed out with fury and this song that's been sung
The end of your life'll, be but a trifle, endeavor whatever I'll send for a rifle, vital
What a spiteful recital, with the pen and the ink I'll title the fin of your viral, in cycles
You lost to my gaze, call it an eye-full, I brought about your being, now death you're entitled
Brought out of gear, they left me in idle, not quite the time yet to be homicidal


An unstoppable being with armor of steel, I'm the epitome of virtue, rebellion and zeal
Enticing the chaos to be famous and payoff the devils who hold me with contracts, a seance
Deep in my heart they know I'm a demon, my passion and hatred could atone for three men
In another sense they'd name me a hero, despite all the praise I'm a bringer of fear though


It's not hard to tap into the motion of oceans, your ego uses pride and the power of emotions
And it circulates through the blood in your veins, it's battles that leave you stressing and strained
Depression depraved, decrepit and shamed, abstain the tale of a zealot unnamed
Profession proclaimed, crush temples and frames, they run from my fire, I'm manic, insane


Don't abide by the rules or the fame that they've got, if you call yourself top then I came for your spot
And you'll fall off this wall with your ego left tattered, won't leave you bruised, more like beaten and battered
Yeah I'm breakin' your balls and the bones in your back, laying out rhymes like I'm psycho, on crack
The click and the clack are on track, I attack, leaving you broken and bloody, all black
The wolves in my center need something to lead 'em, it's love or it's hate, I don't care, I must feed 'em
Call me a savior cause I brought about freedom, I choked out his life, watched the last of it leave 'em



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