Darkness
There's several ways that I could start this, but I prefer the path of the hardest because easy has never been my way since my goals are all the farthest
But it ain't so simple to discard this when it's in my depths like where my heart is, but my brain is even vaster and it's filled with all this darkness
And it's creeping upon my conscience, it's taken over my helm, like I've been rendered numb from kingdom come and they're conquering my realm
I'm losing constant battles on these grounds, man, I'm so bitter, but I always rise to the occasion because I refuse to be called a quitter
Yet I'm taking all these body-shots, the bruises reach to bone, but I'll keep on always driving until a mercy rule is shown
Even when the call is made I'll still proceed to fight, it's like I've been locked inside an empty room with no windows, walls, or light
So let's speak of personal struggles and these wars I can't seem to win, I've been warped by explosive tendencies like a grenade without the pin
And the aftermath of this warpath isn't a virtue or a sin, I've been wandering ever-so aimlessly but I don't know where to begin
Do I start with my anger which is directed at nothing tangible, so I consume myself like a cannibal, degraded me like I'm an animal
And when I'm roaring behind these bars, they've got me caged like I'm a beast, I can't stand up for myself because my word matters the least
And the court has sworn me to silence to simply accept what fate did, but they don't realize I've been basking in all this passion and all this hatred
The distance between my peers and I has left me feeling so ostracized, I've been separated, a lost surprise, I hypothesize this lot of lies
So I'm wondering is it the depression that is making me feel so paranoid? Like my world is crashing down yet I stand here without a hair destroyed
Or is the insomnia to blame because I just can't even sleep, my demons come out of hiding just so that they can murder the sheep
It's something invisible, internal, these aren't just flames, yo they're infernal, like this hell-fire is dragging me down for a time that is eternal
I've got habits to distract it, alcohol prevents the hurtful, but eventually it comes back, and man, this is a vicious circle
And I've convinced myself that there must be some reason for me to deserve this, it's hard to patch up sanity and even harder to preserve this
I spoke of my knuckles breaking glass, my enemy, where is he? That glass used to be a mirror so--what if my enemy IS me?
And it seems that most of the time I'm without a care, swarmed by apathy, since I got derailed from my journey I'm predicting where my path could be
They surely slowed me down when they knocked me down a few pegs, now I'm suffering for my actions and it's like they broke my legs
They even stepped upon my back when I clawed and began to crawl, then applied a little pressure and asked me: "Is this your all?"
But I can't bite the hand that feeds me and be naive to think that it needs me, I'm just a number, a statistic, and many more will proceed me
By the time the storm's passed I'm so frustrated, so broken, the rain has left me soaking and I abandon my thoughts before they're spoken
Like deja vu, a similar token, it's hard to breathe air when you're choking, and on top of everything weighing you down they think that you're just joking
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zsh7ZS0quJo
There's several ways that I could start this, but I prefer the path of the hardest because easy has never been my way since my goals are all the farthest
But it ain't so simple to discard this when it's in my depths like where my heart is, but my brain is even vaster and it's filled with all this darkness
And it's creeping upon my conscience, it's taken over my helm, like I've been rendered numb from kingdom come and they're conquering my realm
I'm losing constant battles on these grounds, man, I'm so bitter, but I always rise to the occasion because I refuse to be called a quitter
Yet I'm taking all these body-shots, the bruises reach to bone, but I'll keep on always driving until a mercy rule is shown
Even when the call is made I'll still proceed to fight, it's like I've been locked inside an empty room with no windows, walls, or light
So let's speak of personal struggles and these wars I can't seem to win, I've been warped by explosive tendencies like a grenade without the pin
And the aftermath of this warpath isn't a virtue or a sin, I've been wandering ever-so aimlessly but I don't know where to begin
Do I start with my anger which is directed at nothing tangible, so I consume myself like a cannibal, degraded me like I'm an animal
And when I'm roaring behind these bars, they've got me caged like I'm a beast, I can't stand up for myself because my word matters the least
And the court has sworn me to silence to simply accept what fate did, but they don't realize I've been basking in all this passion and all this hatred
The distance between my peers and I has left me feeling so ostracized, I've been separated, a lost surprise, I hypothesize this lot of lies
So I'm wondering is it the depression that is making me feel so paranoid? Like my world is crashing down yet I stand here without a hair destroyed
Or is the insomnia to blame because I just can't even sleep, my demons come out of hiding just so that they can murder the sheep
It's something invisible, internal, these aren't just flames, yo they're infernal, like this hell-fire is dragging me down for a time that is eternal
I've got habits to distract it, alcohol prevents the hurtful, but eventually it comes back, and man, this is a vicious circle
And I've convinced myself that there must be some reason for me to deserve this, it's hard to patch up sanity and even harder to preserve this
I spoke of my knuckles breaking glass, my enemy, where is he? That glass used to be a mirror so--what if my enemy IS me?
And it seems that most of the time I'm without a care, swarmed by apathy, since I got derailed from my journey I'm predicting where my path could be
They surely slowed me down when they knocked me down a few pegs, now I'm suffering for my actions and it's like they broke my legs
They even stepped upon my back when I clawed and began to crawl, then applied a little pressure and asked me: "Is this your all?"
But I can't bite the hand that feeds me and be naive to think that it needs me, I'm just a number, a statistic, and many more will proceed me
By the time the storm's passed I'm so frustrated, so broken, the rain has left me soaking and I abandon my thoughts before they're spoken
Like deja vu, a similar token, it's hard to breathe air when you're choking, and on top of everything weighing you down they think that you're just joking
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zsh7ZS0quJo
Forever?
Oh, my darling,
If only you could see what war has done to me.
Oh, my darling,
If only you could see what war has done to me.
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