Chance and Eneru
When Eneru's naked body pressed deep inside her, she was home. Stretched muscles flexing along the thickness of his shaft made Chance feel truly alive. If Hell released it's best denizens to drag her home to the deepest, darkest recesses of the void, she wouldn't regret any of her terrible life. That is, up until she lost Eneru.
There was no skin quite like his. No eyes so light a shade of blue, they resembled icebergs lost adrift amidst foggy waters. No other lips quite so adventurous, nor hands so adept, nor hair so radiantly bizarre. There hadn't been another soul so engaged in making her feel complete, and as time pressed on, Chance learned there never would be. Theirs was a love she couldn't explain, though she could obsess over the parts she liked best.
Such as his forgiveness in overlooking her affairs. He was adamantly protective of her investments, even if they were better unprotected. His devotion was given to who she was in the moment rather than who he expected her to become. Chance would always find herself deteriorating; ground into a pulp and reformed through the events that unfolded. This, a daunting prospect sentient beings are expected to suffer through, wasn't meant to be shared. The weight of transition was hers to carry, but damned if he didn't try to ease the burden. To expect any other being to fill his shoes wasn't going to happen. Thinking they would ride the wave as it traversed the path of becoming a tsunami was asinine.
Yet at her most vulnerable, Eneru kept her safe. Even as she grew into the monster the rest of the world needed safety from, he chose to remain at her side. Complete. Satisfied. As Chance reasoned with herself, ignorant.
It had been years since the two had spoken. Sometimes the woman would venture near his home, where a fire was lit during the cold months, and the screen door was left open in the summer. Sounds of family echoed free. Youth blossomed around the manor like geraniums in his attached garden. Often Chance considered taking it all away from the one she loved so fiercely lifetimes beforehand. More often than this, she wished it all to come crashing down around him so he would know a pain unlike any he had previously been forced to bare. As monstrous as Chance Arden had grown to become, the thoughts of annihilation just weren't as compelling as the songs he would sing his children. They were all so full of life, abundant energy sources that zoomed from one side of the house to the other, laughing and playing and fighting and crying and inevitably, growing.
Aging.
The years never ceased to pass, but the hands of time didn't take hold of either lost soul. Chance was given her usual distance from her history, but it was a troublesome system of circling and backtracking. Eventually, it sent her sauntering into his presence one more time. Eneru, his mauve hair still a sheen so fine and pristine, now hunched over the graves of his earthbound family. How long he had mourned was hard to tell, but the dates on the gravestones weren't recent, and Chance didn't know how to express her empathy. Maybe she never had, and that was what led them to this moment, two opposites caught in a loop that seemed endless.
"I'm sorry-"
"Kenji was the last of my line. Dead to a brain aneurysm at forty-one years old." Eneru slowly rose, with white scarf billowing at his rear, eyes still cast towards the deceased in question.
"There were no other children?"
"He didn't bother having any. No, he was the very last one."
"But I remember children everywhere. Small and loud and always singing-"
"Generations ago. You forget how quickly they age, how fast their lives go by. Yuki and Jun have been gone for many years, and their relations came and went. When I say Kenji was the last of my line, I say so with a heavy heart. I didn't want it to come to this."
Chance forced her expression to settle into complacency, agreeable for the time being. "You must have forgotten about our children. I suppose it's been a very long while since you needed to think of them."
"Your children you mean. Yours because I wasn't allowed to be involved in their lives." Eneru turned to offer his profile, though it was a slash of unmistakeable disappointment. "I didn't even have a choice on whether we had children, Chance... But I didn't forget them, no. I loved them as best a man with just a few select memories could. What more was there to do?"
"Nothing. I wasn't implying you needed to do more than you have." Remembering her cigarette, the Fae flicked her ash idly between thumb and forefinger. "Just reminding you of your pre-existing lineage. Watching you like this makes me feel..."
"As I said, they were never really mine."
"Oh, stop it. Stop saying that." Dropping the remainder of the carcinogen onto the ground, a spiked heel quickly snuffed the cherry and smashed the rest into paper bits. "I didn't come here to listen to you deny your involvement in the lives of two individuals you conveniently write off."
"Then why are you here?" Eneru finally turned inwards, looking into swirling orbs with an intensity she could never seem to get beyond. Even in her dreams, those eyes managed to seek her out and steal the wind from her sails. They were a compelling enough argument to travel all this way to see him. One of many traits she had always found enamoring.
"Does it bother you?"
"What does it matter if it bothers me? I knew you stalked around the house all those years ago, and when you left then, I thought you left for good. Seems I'm never right about seeing the last of Chance Arden." The Incubus practically spit, her name treated like a wretched taste in his mouth. "So tell me, why did you choose now to make a grand appearance? Did you think I was going to forget the past several hundred years and hop right back into bed with you?"
Buried beneath all the anger beginning to surface, terror bubbled from what he said. Not that she would admit such things even to herself, but it wouldn't have been a far fetch to expect his company. Wonders waited for them, and all he needed to do was accept her back into his life, flaws and all. Just like old times. "No."
"No, fucking- of course not. You just came to gloat. Fine, here I am. Gloat all you want. Tell me about how wrong I was to fall in love with a human. Tell me how it was my fault you left me. Tell me how good every dick you sucked since mine was." Eneru didn't shout, but his voice rose so there was no mistaking his anger for jest. "Why don't we just sit down and you can tell me all about how being fucked by everything this side of the galaxy could really make you miss me! Why are you here, Chance? Why are you still so hellbent on ruining my life?"
Chance stood in silence while he ranted, but the last part struck a cord. Finally breaking their gaze, she lowered her luminous hues so they needn't focus on the pain entwined with his voice. The sorrow in his shoulders as they hung limply at his sides. His losses, all lined in the cemetery like conquered chess pieces. "I never interfered with their lives."
"But you wanted to, didn't you?"
"Yes." Breathing deeply through her nose, the blond nodded. "But I never did."
"And what? Are you looking for some sort of thanks from me? Fine. Thank you for not hurting innocent people because you were feeling petty."
"You're being unreasonable. I just came to speak to you about us, about our life before all of this, and you refuse-"
Eneru laughed a hollow laugh before bringing both massive hands up to cup his features, hiding the release of a sigh. "Just stop this."
Brow furrowing, Chance chided back, "Stop what? Stop trying?!"
"Yes. Stop trying. Stop visiting. Stop thinking about me." Figure straightening, the demon returned to looking down at Chance as if trying to gauge whether she was truly listening. "I don't want to go back to how things were. Neither of us is the same as we were..."
"But... You said it was forever. How can this be what you expected?" Chance forced herself to swallow, to save herself the embarrassment of crying over rejection. It didn't suit her to cry even if this was incredibly painful to hear. "This is nothing! Hundreds, thousands, millions of years! THIS IS NOTHING! You promised me forever!"
"You aren't worth it." Cold vocals slithered from his lips, hitting Chance so hard she felt physically winded. "I promised to love you forever, and I can't help loving you even now, but we will never be together again. I can't watch you transform any more than I have. I see you now, my beautiful Chance, and I want this to be the last way I see you. Not as the monster, but as the woman whom I love too much for no good reason."
Something must have found its way into her eyes because tears formed along the corner lashes, thick and salty, making the smell of saline all at once overwhelming. "Was this... How I made you feel?"
"I wouldn't wish how you left me on my worst enemy; least of all you."
Shaking where she stood, Chance's entire body felt like it was close to toppling over. "This- This isn't right, Eneru. It's just not right! We are... We have always been... This is us, Eneru. This is all we know!"
"Do you know what sort of fear that leaves me in? How scared I am that I won't be able to resist myself, and we'll end up as we were? Chance, listen to me." Moving closer, arms outstretched, Eneru grabbed her uppers arms and pulled her close. It was the closest the two had been to one another in more than three hundred years. "I won't survive losing you again. Whether it's you leaving me, or it's you becoming the host- it doesn't matter. I just can't."
He released her with a step back, fixing his jacket by roughly tugging the cuffs of the sleeves. "I'm sorry."
Chance was left in the graveyard with pocketed hands and tears on her cheeks. She didn't have the courage to watch him leave, still not fully comprehending the severity of his word. Now she was paused. Thinking. Confusion and pain blended into some new twisted collection of heinous thoughts, saturating what clarity the conversation was meant to provide. Nothing had gone according to plan, whatever that plan may have been. It wasn't until fires were lit across the entirety of her earlier intentions that the Fae muttered something under her breath before skulking back through the ancient cemetery gates.
"You're not sorry... But you will be."
BDRP Admin. Writer. Villain. Personal Blog.
I tried running from the memory and the mourning.
I tried running from the memory and the mourning.
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