"No one hates you," he said softly. "I promise."
"It's… complicated." He didn't know how much context he could get away with leaving out. It took a lot to explain how any of this could possibly make sense, even to an idiot. "Grilka was in the dungeon, at the time. Things are better for me."
For everyone, he hoped. Not because he was in charge. She was right: it was Grilka who'd been made High Keeper of the King's Guard, supervisor of the entire project. Grilka just happened to have liked Gareth's ideas. Eir focus was more on managing the guards who did fieldwork, spycraft and gossip and putting talent to good use. Gareth had been the one invested in an overhaul of the whole thing. He'd submitted his proposals just like anyone else.
"Do you know how I joined the King's Guard?"
It didn't take a lot of convincing for him to lie back. He expected relief that didn't come. He tried to process what she was saying, lightheaded.
"What? No. What?" He almost sat up again, but couldn't. He almost threw up again, but didn't. "That's. No. That's too sudden. He wouldn't…" He swallowed. "He has done it before. Killed one of my charges. There were warning signs. He didn't like them. Thought I was wasting time. It was… I would know. If he didn't like you. It's. He's not subtle. This is—I only sent Pudge last night. That's too fast. He wouldn't." He wasn't actually sure if he believed that.
He paused. "Next time?" he repeated.
"… oh." That hurt. He deserved it, but it hurt. He reminded himself that she'd had no reason to trust him, not when he'd been letting this happen to her for almost a year now. It didn't help.
"It's… complicated." He didn't know how much context he could get away with leaving out. It took a lot to explain how any of this could possibly make sense, even to an idiot. "Grilka was in the dungeon, at the time. Things are better for me."
For everyone, he hoped. Not because he was in charge. She was right: it was Grilka who'd been made High Keeper of the King's Guard, supervisor of the entire project. Grilka just happened to have liked Gareth's ideas. Eir focus was more on managing the guards who did fieldwork, spycraft and gossip and putting talent to good use. Gareth had been the one invested in an overhaul of the whole thing. He'd submitted his proposals just like anyone else.
"Do you know how I joined the King's Guard?"
It didn't take a lot of convincing for him to lie back. He expected relief that didn't come. He tried to process what she was saying, lightheaded.
"What? No. What?" He almost sat up again, but couldn't. He almost threw up again, but didn't. "That's. No. That's too sudden. He wouldn't…" He swallowed. "He has done it before. Killed one of my charges. There were warning signs. He didn't like them. Thought I was wasting time. It was… I would know. If he didn't like you. It's. He's not subtle. This is—I only sent Pudge last night. That's too fast. He wouldn't." He wasn't actually sure if he believed that.
He paused. "Next time?" he repeated.
"… oh." That hurt. He deserved it, but it hurt. He reminded himself that she'd had no reason to trust him, not when he'd been letting this happen to her for almost a year now. It didn't help.
The following 2 users Like Tindome's post: liarliaronapyre, SolitareLee
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Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-01-2019, 11:13 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-01-2019, 12:23 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-01-2019, 01:27 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-01-2019, 02:24 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-01-2019, 03:02 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-01-2019, 03:23 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-01-2019, 05:22 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-01-2019, 10:06 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-01-2019, 10:47 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-02-2019, 02:41 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-02-2019, 06:36 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-02-2019, 08:55 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-02-2019, 09:16 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-02-2019, 09:34 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-02-2019, 10:05 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-02-2019, 10:54 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-02-2019, 11:10 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-02-2019, 11:46 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-02-2019, 12:01 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-02-2019, 12:55 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-02-2019, 01:15 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-02-2019, 02:33 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-02-2019, 02:56 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-02-2019, 03:25 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-02-2019, 03:40 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-02-2019, 04:10 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-02-2019, 04:37 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-02-2019, 11:14 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-03-2019, 12:11 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-03-2019, 04:36 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-03-2019, 07:06 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-03-2019, 10:38 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-03-2019, 11:11 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-03-2019, 11:44 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-03-2019, 12:07 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-03-2019, 01:06 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-03-2019, 01:32 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-03-2019, 02:02 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-03-2019, 02:30 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-04-2019, 01:15 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-04-2019, 01:42 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-04-2019, 02:22 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-04-2019, 02:58 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-04-2019, 06:11 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-04-2019, 07:34 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-04-2019, 08:38 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-04-2019, 09:01 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-04-2019, 10:01 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-04-2019, 10:53 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-04-2019, 11:23 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-04-2019, 12:51 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-04-2019, 02:21 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-04-2019, 02:39 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-05-2019, 03:15 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-05-2019, 03:33 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-06-2019, 05:29 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-06-2019, 08:02 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-07-2019, 11:55 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-07-2019, 02:09 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-08-2019, 05:17 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-08-2019, 07:28 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-08-2019, 08:12 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-08-2019, 08:58 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-08-2019, 02:13 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-08-2019, 06:33 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-09-2019, 05:45 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-09-2019, 07:23 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-09-2019, 08:28 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-09-2019, 09:04 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-09-2019, 09:35 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-09-2019, 09:55 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-09-2019, 11:59 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-09-2019, 12:20 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-09-2019, 01:25 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-09-2019, 01:52 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-10-2019, 12:42 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-10-2019, 01:18 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-11-2019, 07:35 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-11-2019, 08:23 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-11-2019, 10:52 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-11-2019, 11:11 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-11-2019, 11:58 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-12-2019, 12:39 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-12-2019, 04:20 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-12-2019, 05:33 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-13-2019, 09:54 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-13-2019, 10:14 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-13-2019, 02:46 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-13-2019, 03:00 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-14-2019, 10:58 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-14-2019, 11:19 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-14-2019, 12:50 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-14-2019, 01:13 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-14-2019, 03:57 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-14-2019, 04:21 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-15-2019, 02:42 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-15-2019, 03:17 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-16-2019, 11:18 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-16-2019, 11:42 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-18-2019, 03:08 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-18-2019, 03:28 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-19-2019, 03:17 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-19-2019, 03:47 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-20-2019, 11:26 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-20-2019, 11:50 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-20-2019, 01:25 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-20-2019, 01:58 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-20-2019, 05:13 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-20-2019, 05:27 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-21-2019, 01:23 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-21-2019, 01:52 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-25-2019, 02:38 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-25-2019, 02:54 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-27-2019, 01:23 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-27-2019, 02:20 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-28-2019, 01:11 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-28-2019, 01:36 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-28-2019, 09:55 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-28-2019, 10:28 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-28-2019, 11:27 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-28-2019, 11:38 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-28-2019, 03:16 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-28-2019, 03:52 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-29-2019, 03:06 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-29-2019, 03:26 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-29-2019, 05:59 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-29-2019, 06:39 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-29-2019, 07:26 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-29-2019, 09:11 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-29-2019, 02:49 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-29-2019, 03:06 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-29-2019, 03:51 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-29-2019, 04:20 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-30-2019, 04:45 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-30-2019, 05:40 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-30-2019, 07:37 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-30-2019, 07:56 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-30-2019, 09:45 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-30-2019, 11:03 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-30-2019, 01:27 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-30-2019, 01:43 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 01-01-2020, 01:56 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 01-01-2020, 02:12 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 01-02-2020, 01:23 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 01-02-2020, 01:51 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 01-02-2020, 02:23 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 01-02-2020, 02:40 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 01-02-2020, 03:27 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 01-02-2020, 03:45 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 01-03-2020, 06:38 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 01-03-2020, 07:03 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 01-03-2020, 08:21 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 01-03-2020, 11:15 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 01-03-2020, 12:39 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 01-03-2020, 12:58 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 01-05-2020, 10:59 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 01-05-2020, 11:10 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 01-05-2020, 03:04 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 01-05-2020, 03:20 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 01-31-2020, 11:34 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 01-31-2020, 03:27 PM