The world had opened up and dropped from under her, leaving Ren with nothing but the sensation of falling. Her breath had stopped coming in short gasps because she'd stopped breathing altogether.
He was lying. He was lying, this was some... some sick game that he and the King were playing, some twisted... Another thing like when the King let her think he was moving her to a new place only to lock her in a room with poison, some kind of new cruel and horrible mockery more agonizing than the last.
There was no way. There was just no way. Someone... someone would have noticed, someone would have seen. Surely she'd mentioned something, at some point, some red flag that would have given the whole thing up if it had really been, if...
She had scooted imperceptibly back away from Gareth, no longer touching him, the only link between them the bandage around his chest, the end of which was still twisted into her hands.
Some day in the future, when I grow weary of watching you try.
A life cannot be better hungry and bleeding--then why am I so fucking hungry all of the time.
You'd like that, wouldn't you, nothing but rats to keep you company once you've bled out in a ditch.
You can tell me. You know that, don't you? There are things you don't have to do.
She was coming apart at the seams, her mind leaking out of cuts that had been torn open and stitched back up painstakingly, a hundred times, a thousand times over the last year.
"I--"
Her voice came out like a scratched record or a doll toy that had been played too many times, a recorded echo that had been worn past its time. "I don't have rights. I'm a prisoner. I'm already dead. My life belongs to the King's Guard. My will belongs to the King's Guard. I don't, I don't, I,"
He was lying, he was lying, he was lying,
What if he wasn't lying.
Her world was rearranging around her with the possibility, blocks of floor and ceiling breaking out and shifting and she couldn't tell up from down, but what if he wasn't lying. Did it make sense? Could it be? How could that happen? No, it couldn't be, the King had made no secret of intending to kill her one day, and Gareth hadn't pretended he'd stop him. This was some trap, but Gareth would never trap her, he'd never trick her, he'd been tricked, he'd been tricked, by Colin? By Avi? How far did it go? Why? Why? Why? Why?
"Tell me the truth," she gasped out, clutching at her arms, grip white-knuckled. "Don't lie to me, if you lie to me I, I swear to god, I'll burn this whole country to the ground before they catch me. Gareth," his name tore out of her like a desperate plea. "No one fed me, Gareth, the food wasn't enough and when I stole more they took it all away. They wouldn't let me near anyone else because I'm filthy, because the rats, I'm always locked up, I'm not allowed to have anythin', there's nothin', there's nothin' all I have are the things I steal. I go to my work, I go to my room, I go to my work, I go to my room, no one comes in unless I've done somethin' wrong.
"Tell me it's supposed to be this way," she begged. "Tell me you think I deserve it. Tell me it's because I'm a criminal. Because I'm an animal. Because I'm a monster. Because I never learn. Because I'm a danger to the people around me. Because I'm just a thing that happens to other people. Tell me."
He was lying. He was lying, this was some... some sick game that he and the King were playing, some twisted... Another thing like when the King let her think he was moving her to a new place only to lock her in a room with poison, some kind of new cruel and horrible mockery more agonizing than the last.
There was no way. There was just no way. Someone... someone would have noticed, someone would have seen. Surely she'd mentioned something, at some point, some red flag that would have given the whole thing up if it had really been, if...
She had scooted imperceptibly back away from Gareth, no longer touching him, the only link between them the bandage around his chest, the end of which was still twisted into her hands.
Some day in the future, when I grow weary of watching you try.
A life cannot be better hungry and bleeding--then why am I so fucking hungry all of the time.
You'd like that, wouldn't you, nothing but rats to keep you company once you've bled out in a ditch.
You can tell me. You know that, don't you? There are things you don't have to do.
She was coming apart at the seams, her mind leaking out of cuts that had been torn open and stitched back up painstakingly, a hundred times, a thousand times over the last year.
"I--"
Her voice came out like a scratched record or a doll toy that had been played too many times, a recorded echo that had been worn past its time. "I don't have rights. I'm a prisoner. I'm already dead. My life belongs to the King's Guard. My will belongs to the King's Guard. I don't, I don't, I,"
He was lying, he was lying, he was lying,
What if he wasn't lying.
Her world was rearranging around her with the possibility, blocks of floor and ceiling breaking out and shifting and she couldn't tell up from down, but what if he wasn't lying. Did it make sense? Could it be? How could that happen? No, it couldn't be, the King had made no secret of intending to kill her one day, and Gareth hadn't pretended he'd stop him. This was some trap, but Gareth would never trap her, he'd never trick her, he'd been tricked, he'd been tricked, by Colin? By Avi? How far did it go? Why? Why? Why? Why?
"Tell me the truth," she gasped out, clutching at her arms, grip white-knuckled. "Don't lie to me, if you lie to me I, I swear to god, I'll burn this whole country to the ground before they catch me. Gareth," his name tore out of her like a desperate plea. "No one fed me, Gareth, the food wasn't enough and when I stole more they took it all away. They wouldn't let me near anyone else because I'm filthy, because the rats, I'm always locked up, I'm not allowed to have anythin', there's nothin', there's nothin' all I have are the things I steal. I go to my work, I go to my room, I go to my work, I go to my room, no one comes in unless I've done somethin' wrong.
"Tell me it's supposed to be this way," she begged. "Tell me you think I deserve it. Tell me it's because I'm a criminal. Because I'm an animal. Because I'm a monster. Because I never learn. Because I'm a danger to the people around me. Because I'm just a thing that happens to other people. Tell me."
The following 2 users Like SolitareLee's post: liarliaronapyre, Tindome
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Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-01-2019, 11:13 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-01-2019, 12:23 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-01-2019, 01:27 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-01-2019, 02:24 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-01-2019, 03:02 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-01-2019, 03:23 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-01-2019, 05:22 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-01-2019, 10:06 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-01-2019, 10:47 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-02-2019, 02:41 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-02-2019, 06:36 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-02-2019, 08:55 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-02-2019, 09:16 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-02-2019, 09:34 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-02-2019, 10:05 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-02-2019, 10:54 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-02-2019, 11:10 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-02-2019, 11:46 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-02-2019, 12:01 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-02-2019, 12:55 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-02-2019, 01:15 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-02-2019, 02:33 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-02-2019, 02:56 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-02-2019, 03:25 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-02-2019, 03:40 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-02-2019, 04:10 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-02-2019, 04:37 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-02-2019, 11:14 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-03-2019, 12:11 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-03-2019, 04:36 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-03-2019, 07:06 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-03-2019, 10:38 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-03-2019, 11:11 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-03-2019, 11:44 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-03-2019, 12:07 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-03-2019, 01:06 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-03-2019, 01:32 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-03-2019, 02:02 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-03-2019, 02:30 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-04-2019, 01:15 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-04-2019, 01:42 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-04-2019, 02:22 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-04-2019, 02:58 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-04-2019, 06:11 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-04-2019, 07:34 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-04-2019, 08:38 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-04-2019, 09:01 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-04-2019, 10:01 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-04-2019, 10:53 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-04-2019, 11:23 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-04-2019, 12:51 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-04-2019, 02:21 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-04-2019, 02:39 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-05-2019, 03:15 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-05-2019, 03:33 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-06-2019, 05:29 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-06-2019, 08:02 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-07-2019, 11:55 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-07-2019, 02:09 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-08-2019, 05:17 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-08-2019, 07:28 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-08-2019, 08:12 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-08-2019, 08:58 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-08-2019, 02:13 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-08-2019, 06:33 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-09-2019, 05:45 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-09-2019, 07:23 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-09-2019, 08:28 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-09-2019, 09:04 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-09-2019, 09:35 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-09-2019, 09:55 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-09-2019, 11:59 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-09-2019, 12:20 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-09-2019, 01:25 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-09-2019, 01:52 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-10-2019, 12:42 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-10-2019, 01:18 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-11-2019, 07:35 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-11-2019, 08:23 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-11-2019, 10:52 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-11-2019, 11:11 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-11-2019, 11:58 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-12-2019, 12:39 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-12-2019, 04:20 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-12-2019, 05:33 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-13-2019, 09:54 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-13-2019, 10:14 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-13-2019, 02:46 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-13-2019, 03:00 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-14-2019, 10:58 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-14-2019, 11:19 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-14-2019, 12:50 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-14-2019, 01:13 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-14-2019, 03:57 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-14-2019, 04:21 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-15-2019, 02:42 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-15-2019, 03:17 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-16-2019, 11:18 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-16-2019, 11:42 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-18-2019, 03:08 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-18-2019, 03:28 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-19-2019, 03:17 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-19-2019, 03:47 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-20-2019, 11:26 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-20-2019, 11:50 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-20-2019, 01:25 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-20-2019, 01:58 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-20-2019, 05:13 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-20-2019, 05:27 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-21-2019, 01:23 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-21-2019, 01:52 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-25-2019, 02:38 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-25-2019, 02:54 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-27-2019, 01:23 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-27-2019, 02:20 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-28-2019, 01:11 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-28-2019, 01:36 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-28-2019, 09:55 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-28-2019, 10:28 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-28-2019, 11:27 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-28-2019, 11:38 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-28-2019, 03:16 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-28-2019, 03:52 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-29-2019, 03:06 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-29-2019, 03:26 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-29-2019, 05:59 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-29-2019, 06:39 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-29-2019, 07:26 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-29-2019, 09:11 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-29-2019, 02:49 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-29-2019, 03:06 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-29-2019, 03:51 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-29-2019, 04:20 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-30-2019, 04:45 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-30-2019, 05:40 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-30-2019, 07:37 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-30-2019, 07:56 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-30-2019, 09:45 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-30-2019, 11:03 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 12-30-2019, 01:27 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 12-30-2019, 01:43 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 01-01-2020, 01:56 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 01-01-2020, 02:12 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 01-02-2020, 01:23 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 01-02-2020, 01:51 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 01-02-2020, 02:23 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 01-02-2020, 02:40 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 01-02-2020, 03:27 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 01-02-2020, 03:45 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 01-03-2020, 06:38 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 01-03-2020, 07:03 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 01-03-2020, 08:21 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 01-03-2020, 11:15 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 01-03-2020, 12:39 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 01-03-2020, 12:58 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 01-05-2020, 10:59 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 01-05-2020, 11:10 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 01-05-2020, 03:04 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 01-05-2020, 03:20 PM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by Tindome - 01-31-2020, 11:34 AM
RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - by SolitareLee - 01-31-2020, 03:27 PM