Owen couldn’t tell what was going on in Anita’s mind but he could tell that whatever walls she had put up around her were being demolished by him. Was it his mere presence that upset her so much? Perhaps she felt betrayed that he hadn’t seen her sooner. That he’d seemed to prioritize everyone else over her. A pang of guilt caused his brows to knit together. He wanted to tell her that wasn’t so.
Things weren’t going the way he wanted them to. He’d learned one night ten years ago that he couldn’t control everything. It seemed as if every minute of every day since his resurrection he was reminded of that over and over.
He couldn’t control anything.
“Yes I did. Briefly.” He admitted this quietly but didn’t offer any other information as to how the meeting went. The lack of Julianna’s presence at his side would likely signal to anyone who knew them that things hadn’t gone perfectly. All told the meeting had not been a failure, but it wasn’t an outright success either. The feeling of her lips on his and her small frame tucked against his side returned to him. Had she really not felt what he had?
In the brief lapse of silence that took over during Owen’s thoughts Anita had started crying again. A trembling full force kind of sobbing. The sounds of it sent a miserable ache through his heart. Owen pulled her back against him, the hands that hid her face pressed into his chest. “Anita.” He was pleading. Please. Don’t. He didn't want to dredge up the past anymore.
But she started apologizing to him. “What?” He pushed gently at her shoulders and pulled her hands from her face forcing her to look at him through teary eyes. “No.” His fingers moved to tuck the hairs that he’d disrupted in his hug back into place.
“No.” It was more forceful. A command for her to stop. He would not accept the apologies of a child for mistakes he had made as the adult responsible for her.
Owen gripped her shoulders tightly to emphasize his words. “Why are you carrying this?” The burden of his death was not hers to bear. “How could you think this? You were just a child Anita. You did nothing wrong. Nothing.”
She had dissolved again and he was left with nothing to do but pull her into him again and hold her until she stopped. “Have you been carrying this around all this time?” He asked already knowing the answer. His lips moved against her hair when she spoke.
“You were only ten. What happened to me is your fault at all. That’s on me. I should have protected you better. I’m sorry I left you. I’m sorry that happened to you. It’s on me. You let me carry it.”
Owen ran his hand rhythmically over her hair. His voice had descended into a whisper as he spoke. “It’s not your fault.” He repeated. He would say it over and over until she believed him if he had to.
Things weren’t going the way he wanted them to. He’d learned one night ten years ago that he couldn’t control everything. It seemed as if every minute of every day since his resurrection he was reminded of that over and over.
He couldn’t control anything.
“Yes I did. Briefly.” He admitted this quietly but didn’t offer any other information as to how the meeting went. The lack of Julianna’s presence at his side would likely signal to anyone who knew them that things hadn’t gone perfectly. All told the meeting had not been a failure, but it wasn’t an outright success either. The feeling of her lips on his and her small frame tucked against his side returned to him. Had she really not felt what he had?
In the brief lapse of silence that took over during Owen’s thoughts Anita had started crying again. A trembling full force kind of sobbing. The sounds of it sent a miserable ache through his heart. Owen pulled her back against him, the hands that hid her face pressed into his chest. “Anita.” He was pleading. Please. Don’t. He didn't want to dredge up the past anymore.
But she started apologizing to him. “What?” He pushed gently at her shoulders and pulled her hands from her face forcing her to look at him through teary eyes. “No.” His fingers moved to tuck the hairs that he’d disrupted in his hug back into place.
“No.” It was more forceful. A command for her to stop. He would not accept the apologies of a child for mistakes he had made as the adult responsible for her.
Owen gripped her shoulders tightly to emphasize his words. “Why are you carrying this?” The burden of his death was not hers to bear. “How could you think this? You were just a child Anita. You did nothing wrong. Nothing.”
She had dissolved again and he was left with nothing to do but pull her into him again and hold her until she stopped. “Have you been carrying this around all this time?” He asked already knowing the answer. His lips moved against her hair when she spoke.
“You were only ten. What happened to me is your fault at all. That’s on me. I should have protected you better. I’m sorry I left you. I’m sorry that happened to you. It’s on me. You let me carry it.”
Owen ran his hand rhythmically over her hair. His voice had descended into a whisper as he spoke. “It’s not your fault.” He repeated. He would say it over and over until she believed him if he had to.
Bitch, I'm limited edition.
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