She kissed him to forget. To forget. To forget. To forget. To forget. To forget. To forget. To for g e t
But it was a taste that brought her back to a time before the stars stopped resembling wishes and constellations and started looking a bit too much like someone she knew. A face found in the cosmos, hovering precariously close to where she slept, peering through windows and blinds and through cracked doors to watch her while she was dreaming. Observant because they reasoned they might be able to glean the contents of those secretive thoughts stashed tightly in her skull.
The smell of ozone and kerosene. The memories of wild fields after winter rains. The sight of deserts dotted in pinks and blues and yellows that stretched so far, she thought she lived on a moving canvas of color.
But she kissed him to forget. Forget the sun over the midway. Forget the afternoon treks and the arguments. Forget the cart doesn't come before the horse. Forget love doesn't always win.
He didn't taste like death, but he tasted like a life lost in translation, and that was close enough.
"What're you thinking?" She asked after a while, sometime after the feeling had subsided and she was left with a tongue coated in the questions only silence could produce.
"Of stars," he commented, offhandedly and with a cigarette dangling from his lips, "and how obnoxious I find 'em. Pretentious little shits, right?"
Maybe she nodded, but it brought her sights upward. Through the darkness, beyond the camp and the fire, above the smoke and the spit of embers trailing freely, to the stars. "My ma once said the stars belong to all of us. To everyone. They aren't pretentious... they're just the parts of us we lose along the way."
His head cocked, the mane of dark locks flopping to and fro as he repositioned himself. Leaning upright, lounging, legs splayed however they may fall while his elbows buckled down to keep him otherwise elevated. He had to force his portrait skyward if he wanted the whole picture, but his efforts stopped just shy of that. He could still cut her a side eye when needed as he explained in the same way other men had spoken to her in the past, slow and careful as if she couldn't understand the full scope of their thoughts without them easing off the pedal.
"They used to say that people were made of stardust. Not the other way around- the way you're explainin'. It was more like stars came before us and after a while, they made us as we are and the world as it is, and the whole universe as it is, and now they're just admirin' their work." He hummed, pleased as he pulled back his cigarette to ash it. "You believe in god, don't ya? Well, if you can believe in that, you can believe in stars. My issue with 'em isn't that they're there, because there's no way to get them down from there, after all. My issue is with our issues. With all these problems, with the gangs and the raiders and the bikers and the whole business with them- but we aren't gettin' help from any stars, are we? Not a damn thing."
"Reckon that'd make us sort of lucky, don'cha think?" Kade sighed, her lids coming to close as she inhaled smoke and evening sand drifts, more familiar with their desert resting place than she was with her companion. She didn't care. She only needed him for the night. "Because I bet there'd be more to lose than your life or mine if the stars did come to us. I think - and this is just my humble opinion on this - we'd lose everything you just mentioned. Us, the world, the universe- it's gone when we're gone."
Sagely, she added under her breath, "Can't take it with you."
And when she slept, it was fortunate nothing happened.
Nothing at all.
That night, she couldn't even make out a face in her dreams. Maybe the stars finally collected what they were owed.
But it was a taste that brought her back to a time before the stars stopped resembling wishes and constellations and started looking a bit too much like someone she knew. A face found in the cosmos, hovering precariously close to where she slept, peering through windows and blinds and through cracked doors to watch her while she was dreaming. Observant because they reasoned they might be able to glean the contents of those secretive thoughts stashed tightly in her skull.
The smell of ozone and kerosene. The memories of wild fields after winter rains. The sight of deserts dotted in pinks and blues and yellows that stretched so far, she thought she lived on a moving canvas of color.
But she kissed him to forget. Forget the sun over the midway. Forget the afternoon treks and the arguments. Forget the cart doesn't come before the horse. Forget love doesn't always win.
He didn't taste like death, but he tasted like a life lost in translation, and that was close enough.
"What're you thinking?" She asked after a while, sometime after the feeling had subsided and she was left with a tongue coated in the questions only silence could produce.
"Of stars," he commented, offhandedly and with a cigarette dangling from his lips, "and how obnoxious I find 'em. Pretentious little shits, right?"
Maybe she nodded, but it brought her sights upward. Through the darkness, beyond the camp and the fire, above the smoke and the spit of embers trailing freely, to the stars. "My ma once said the stars belong to all of us. To everyone. They aren't pretentious... they're just the parts of us we lose along the way."
His head cocked, the mane of dark locks flopping to and fro as he repositioned himself. Leaning upright, lounging, legs splayed however they may fall while his elbows buckled down to keep him otherwise elevated. He had to force his portrait skyward if he wanted the whole picture, but his efforts stopped just shy of that. He could still cut her a side eye when needed as he explained in the same way other men had spoken to her in the past, slow and careful as if she couldn't understand the full scope of their thoughts without them easing off the pedal.
"They used to say that people were made of stardust. Not the other way around- the way you're explainin'. It was more like stars came before us and after a while, they made us as we are and the world as it is, and the whole universe as it is, and now they're just admirin' their work." He hummed, pleased as he pulled back his cigarette to ash it. "You believe in god, don't ya? Well, if you can believe in that, you can believe in stars. My issue with 'em isn't that they're there, because there's no way to get them down from there, after all. My issue is with our issues. With all these problems, with the gangs and the raiders and the bikers and the whole business with them- but we aren't gettin' help from any stars, are we? Not a damn thing."
"Reckon that'd make us sort of lucky, don'cha think?" Kade sighed, her lids coming to close as she inhaled smoke and evening sand drifts, more familiar with their desert resting place than she was with her companion. She didn't care. She only needed him for the night. "Because I bet there'd be more to lose than your life or mine if the stars did come to us. I think - and this is just my humble opinion on this - we'd lose everything you just mentioned. Us, the world, the universe- it's gone when we're gone."
Sagely, she added under her breath, "Can't take it with you."
And when she slept, it was fortunate nothing happened.
Nothing at all.
That night, she couldn't even make out a face in her dreams. Maybe the stars finally collected what they were owed.
BDRP Admin. Writer. Villain. Personal Blog.
I tried running from the memory and the mourning.
I tried running from the memory and the mourning.
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