Sam-isms
Anecdotes found within Iman Eko's private notes.
Anecdotes found within Iman Eko's private notes.
- Today he ordered a drink I couldn't pronounce with so many components to it, I don't remember if there was even coffee involved.
- Earlier, he asked if I had been scuba diving, and then laughed when I didn't know what was so funny about how I pronounced snorkel.
- Sometimes, when he sleeps, he hums the Stranger Things theme song.
- I cried when it started snowing, and again when he thought it was funny to buy me a snow cone.
- He calls me "Love", which I thought was a term of affection, but then he called his dry cleaner, the server, the barista, the personal trainer, and his chauffeur "Love" as well. I am confused.
- He eats pork.
- I think while I was sleeping, he bit my butt, because there is a rather large mark there in the shape of his teeth. Don't ask how I have guesstimated what his teeth look like.
- On occasion, I catch him watching the Food Network, but when he realizes I'm there, he quickly changes the channel and acts asleep.
- He doesn't understand why I don't drink, so when we visit a club or a pub together, he tries to trick me into having a cocktail. (Water isn't lime green, Sam.)
- He doesn't shy away when I flash him my cleavage... I think he likes me.
- Note to self: Remember to check his size in case it is possible to steal any of the following - His shoes, his ties, his blazers, his dress shirts, his slacks. Possibly his boxers.
- I am disgusted and admittedly curious about what they consider tea in this country.
- There was a goat in the street. A real. Live. Goat.
- I can't even get a pedicure without him calling. Twice. HE DROPPED ME OFF! WHERE DOES HE THINK I'M GOING TO GO???
- When I'm in a suit and tie, I make for such a sharp dressed man. It's hardly any wonder that Ana, from the lobby, has a crush on me.
Update: I'm not supposed to speak with Ana, from the lobby, anymore while I'm a man.
Update: Sam wanted an emergency cuddle. We spent three hours lying on the carpet in his office.
Update: Anal.
- Sam refuses to eat cereal, stating, 'It was ruined by that midget bastard stereotype.' I thought he meant Captain Crunch. I have since been corrected.
- Why does he like this Haggis filth??? IT IS SO GROSS!
- He told me there were stars in my eyes... And then proceeded to blow his load on my face.
- Sam said I needed to stop saying "No homo" when we were most certainly doing homo things.
- Sam doesn't like when I sing Mr. Brightside by The Killers while I'm fucking him. I think he needs to loosen up. Wink wonk.
- Our trip to Disneyland was a success. At least, that was until Sam got piss drunk and went nine rounds with the actor portraying Genie from Aladin. To quote Sam, he said: "This is fer all yer fookin' sloots on te side, an fer breakin' Iman's heart- Wot kinda man are ye?!' Suffice to say, I felt avenged.
Update: We're banned from Disneyland.
- Newsflash: Rabban Trejhobek bankrupted. Sam: I'm not bloody surprised.
- Sam showed up at my apartment sometime around 2 am, soaking wet from the rain and drunker than I've ever seen him. He asked for peanut butter. I told him I don't eat peanut butter so I didn't have any. He settled for Nutella on a spoon.
Spoiler:
BDRP Admin. Writer. Villain. Personal Blog.
I tried running from the memory and the mourning.
I tried running from the memory and the mourning.
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