Playing Games
kreska & fate
osiris lunar colony
kreska & fate
osiris lunar colony
At the tippy-top of the Southern Quadrant, where no other living being dared go, Kreska settled in and made herself comfortable. It was her favorite little nook, a piece of equipment that was probably vital to station function and which she probably should not have been sitting on, with a view of the whole gas giant in front of her. There was a chance that her cigarette could cause a catastrophic explosion.
She tried to start up her favorite racing game on her tablet, and frowned when it didn't load.
What loaded instead was some kind of cutscene from a completely different game, involving a lot of two-dimensional femme-faced men.
"Th' fuck?"
She exited out, and tried again. Same thing.
She tried a different game. Same thing.
She tried a different application altogether, tried restarting her tablet entirely, but everything she did brought her back to the same thing.
» Would you like to play a game?
Familiar text popped up in a notification she couldn't respond to, and she snarled.
"Y'listenin'?" she asked, because her earpiece was still in, the way it was almost always in. "Fix it," she added, assuming that he was.
» That's no fun.
» All you have to do is win.
» I thought you liked winning.
"This's some kinda stupid bullshit game," she informed him. "I ain't playin'."
» Oh fine.
» Then just say "I surrender"
» or maybe "Fate wins"
» or "Fate really is the best"
» or all of those.
» I'm not picky.
» Loud, please.
» Huskiness optional but encouraged.
She huffed, and tapped the screen rather than acknowledge him. Which was when she discovered the awful truth: this was a game that involved a lot of reading. Her futile attempts to tap through all the words to get to the actual gameplay soon gave way to the realization that the words were the gameplay.
» Oh, come on.
» You're not even trying.
» At least -pretend- to read it.
She could feel her face getting hot. She tried to tell herself that he was just a moron, that he wasn't deliberately trying to humiliate her.
"You read it," she said suddenly.
» I'm -trying-.
"Out loud," she added.
» What?
"Y'want me t'play this stupid thing, then... make't interestin'. Do th'voices an' stuff."
"You're kidding," he said as he opened the voice channel.
"Y'can fix m'shit if ya don' wanna do it," she reminded him.
"I'm just amazed," he said, "that in this game about kissing boys–"
"What!"
"–where you win by getting one of the boys to kiss you–"
"What!" Having not read any of the introductory text, she had not realized that this was the goal of the game.
"–you – Kreska Ido – want me to do the voices of the kissboys."
Her entire face was now a dark shade of green. "Y'didn' hafta make't weird," she said. She no longer liked this plan. This was not the clever plan she'd thought it was. But the alternative was surrender, or else... trying to read through the game herself. With Fate secretly watching the whole time, probably. Even just some of the time.
That was unacceptable.
"Alright," Fate said, "so are you going to read your part, then?"
"... no. Ya gotta read th' girl parts, too."
"Oh, well, of course. I should have realized. How foolish of me." She heard him clear his throat, before adopting a breathy falsetto. "Boy, it sure is hard to be a girl–"
She cackled.
"If you're not going to take this seriously," he warned.
"Naw," she said, "I can tell y'take a lotta pride'n your work's an actor."
It was not a good game. She thought perhaps he'd picked it deliberately for that reason. The main character's primary traits seemed to be 'clumsy moron', and overall she reminded Kreska unflatteringly of Xotll.
As the boys she was intended to seduce were introduced, Kreska's feelings about the game's quality did not improve.
"Fuck me, lookit this asshole," she said, making Fate laugh as a man whose outfit consisted of fifty percent belts came onto the screen. "Give 'im a real dumb asshole voice."
"That's been all the voices so far," he reminded her.
"Dumber!"
What he adopted was some kind of half-Scottish, faintly Cockney brogue that had never been used by anyone in any corner of Allied Space. "I don't need to be wasting my time babysitting some spoiled brat," he read, and Kreska cackled again.
"Oh, I hate 'im. Can we kill 'im? Izzat in th'game?"
"I don't think it has a yandere mode."
"Th'fuck's that?"
"Nothing. I don't know that word. I didn't say anything. What? Let's see more kissboys."
She'd been about to say something clever, she thought, when the next screen gave her pause. This character...
... was pretty.
They were all pretty. Obviously. That was the point of the stupid game. But this one was actually pretty. With long, elegant hair, and a very fancy sort of a suit. Just a general air of elegant fanciness to him that meant he was surely, obviously, the objectively most attractive character in the game. The kind of elegant fanciness that did not exist in real life, except as attached to enormous assholes with superiority complexes.
"Please," Fate began, in a faux-Spanish accent with a lisp.
"No!" she snapped immediately.
"What?"
"Give him a good voice."
"What?"
She was starting to blush again. "I just – whoever I try t' kiss's th'one 'm gonna talk to most. I just realized. One of 'em's gotta have a good voice't won't bug th'shit outta me. An' that's thissun."
"Why don't I just change belt-guy's voice?" he suggested.
"No!" She slammed her mouth shut when she realized how high-pitched it had gotten. "'S too late," she lied. "'S gotta be this guy."
"I don't want to spoil anything for you," he said, "but I've looked at a walkthrough, and this guy's route takes about twice as long as belt-guy. You go for belt-guy and we can get this done before bedtime."
"Just do the voice!"
That was entirely too vehement.
"I'll try," Fate said dubiously. Finally, he just made his voice kind of deep, and maybe husky. "Please try to watch your attitude in front of the lady."
The dialogue was exactly as stilted and terrible as it was for every other character.
He'd called her a lady. He was being chivalrous.
Kreska giggled.
"Did you just giggle?"
"No!"
She tried to start up her favorite racing game on her tablet, and frowned when it didn't load.
What loaded instead was some kind of cutscene from a completely different game, involving a lot of two-dimensional femme-faced men.
"Th' fuck?"
She exited out, and tried again. Same thing.
She tried a different game. Same thing.
She tried a different application altogether, tried restarting her tablet entirely, but everything she did brought her back to the same thing.
» Would you like to play a game?
Familiar text popped up in a notification she couldn't respond to, and she snarled.
"Y'listenin'?" she asked, because her earpiece was still in, the way it was almost always in. "Fix it," she added, assuming that he was.
» That's no fun.
» All you have to do is win.
» I thought you liked winning.
"This's some kinda stupid bullshit game," she informed him. "I ain't playin'."
» Oh fine.
» Then just say "I surrender"
» or maybe "Fate wins"
» or "Fate really is the best"
» or all of those.
» I'm not picky.
» Loud, please.
» Huskiness optional but encouraged.
She huffed, and tapped the screen rather than acknowledge him. Which was when she discovered the awful truth: this was a game that involved a lot of reading. Her futile attempts to tap through all the words to get to the actual gameplay soon gave way to the realization that the words were the gameplay.
» Oh, come on.
» You're not even trying.
» At least -pretend- to read it.
She could feel her face getting hot. She tried to tell herself that he was just a moron, that he wasn't deliberately trying to humiliate her.
"You read it," she said suddenly.
» I'm -trying-.
"Out loud," she added.
» What?
"Y'want me t'play this stupid thing, then... make't interestin'. Do th'voices an' stuff."
"You're kidding," he said as he opened the voice channel.
"Y'can fix m'shit if ya don' wanna do it," she reminded him.
"I'm just amazed," he said, "that in this game about kissing boys–"
"What!"
"–where you win by getting one of the boys to kiss you–"
"What!" Having not read any of the introductory text, she had not realized that this was the goal of the game.
"–you – Kreska Ido – want me to do the voices of the kissboys."
Her entire face was now a dark shade of green. "Y'didn' hafta make't weird," she said. She no longer liked this plan. This was not the clever plan she'd thought it was. But the alternative was surrender, or else... trying to read through the game herself. With Fate secretly watching the whole time, probably. Even just some of the time.
That was unacceptable.
"Alright," Fate said, "so are you going to read your part, then?"
"... no. Ya gotta read th' girl parts, too."
"Oh, well, of course. I should have realized. How foolish of me." She heard him clear his throat, before adopting a breathy falsetto. "Boy, it sure is hard to be a girl–"
She cackled.
"If you're not going to take this seriously," he warned.
"Naw," she said, "I can tell y'take a lotta pride'n your work's an actor."
It was not a good game. She thought perhaps he'd picked it deliberately for that reason. The main character's primary traits seemed to be 'clumsy moron', and overall she reminded Kreska unflatteringly of Xotll.
As the boys she was intended to seduce were introduced, Kreska's feelings about the game's quality did not improve.
"Fuck me, lookit this asshole," she said, making Fate laugh as a man whose outfit consisted of fifty percent belts came onto the screen. "Give 'im a real dumb asshole voice."
"That's been all the voices so far," he reminded her.
"Dumber!"
What he adopted was some kind of half-Scottish, faintly Cockney brogue that had never been used by anyone in any corner of Allied Space. "I don't need to be wasting my time babysitting some spoiled brat," he read, and Kreska cackled again.
"Oh, I hate 'im. Can we kill 'im? Izzat in th'game?"
"I don't think it has a yandere mode."
"Th'fuck's that?"
"Nothing. I don't know that word. I didn't say anything. What? Let's see more kissboys."
She'd been about to say something clever, she thought, when the next screen gave her pause. This character...
... was pretty.
They were all pretty. Obviously. That was the point of the stupid game. But this one was actually pretty. With long, elegant hair, and a very fancy sort of a suit. Just a general air of elegant fanciness to him that meant he was surely, obviously, the objectively most attractive character in the game. The kind of elegant fanciness that did not exist in real life, except as attached to enormous assholes with superiority complexes.
"Please," Fate began, in a faux-Spanish accent with a lisp.
"No!" she snapped immediately.
"What?"
"Give him a good voice."
"What?"
She was starting to blush again. "I just – whoever I try t' kiss's th'one 'm gonna talk to most. I just realized. One of 'em's gotta have a good voice't won't bug th'shit outta me. An' that's thissun."
"Why don't I just change belt-guy's voice?" he suggested.
"No!" She slammed her mouth shut when she realized how high-pitched it had gotten. "'S too late," she lied. "'S gotta be this guy."
"I don't want to spoil anything for you," he said, "but I've looked at a walkthrough, and this guy's route takes about twice as long as belt-guy. You go for belt-guy and we can get this done before bedtime."
"Just do the voice!"
That was entirely too vehement.
"I'll try," Fate said dubiously. Finally, he just made his voice kind of deep, and maybe husky. "Please try to watch your attitude in front of the lady."
The dialogue was exactly as stilted and terrible as it was for every other character.
He'd called her a lady. He was being chivalrous.
Kreska giggled.
"Did you just giggle?"
"No!"
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