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Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - Printable Version

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RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - SolitareLee - 12-03-2019

A low pitched, keening noise spilled out from Ren's lips.

"They will disappoint you well enough on their own. Better not to give them additional opportunities. Especially people you like."

Blocks slid into their new places, the world forming a new reality around her. Not the one she knew, but an unfamiliar and terrifying one. She'd made one thousand terrible, terrible choices, one after the other, every single day. Why hadn't she told him? Why hadn't she just told him? Anyone? Why had she hid it so meticulously, without even realizing that's what she was doing?

How many times had she dodged having sex with him because she'd just been whipped and didn't want him to see? How many opportunities had she been given to say, flat out, that she wasn't being fed? The King had asked, point blank, and she'd avoided answering, because she didn't want to hear Gareth say that was what she deserved.

But he didn't. He didn't say that, because he didn't think that.

She pressed against Gareth's back, wrapping her arms around him as best she could. She didn't even have the presence of mind to be careful of his injury, not as much as she should, her chest against his back and her heart pounding in her chest behind where his should have been.

That was why she'd been so isolated. Why she rarely ever saw other people. Why she hadn't been allowed in the mess hall for meals. Why she always had the same guards. It wasn't because she was an unstable danger, it had been to keep her from talking to anyone else, any of the other prisoners--not prisoners?--and realizing what was going on. And hadn't she seen? She knew the other people there had more freedoms, had been able to go outside. They'd all seemed so much more well-adjusted. She'd thought those were all the things Gareth had talked about earning. But it had all been one elaborate lie, held together with twine and her own inability to talk about what was fucking bothering her.

She shuddered against Gareth's back as the last of reality snapped into its shiny new place.

"I never wanted to kill you," she insisted, shaking against his back. "You were th' only thing that made it worth gettin' through each day. Even when I wanted t' die, I didn't... I never..." Until she'd thought he'd sold her up the river to the King, and even then... The incongruities between how Gareth acted and how she was treated. She'd thought he was a hypocrite who thought anything was justified if it happened to a prisoner.

"I get it now. I should have figured it out months ago, when you were so freaked out by th' thought that people were forcin' me. Why would you mind that and not mind everythin' else? I should have put it together. I should've just said somethin'. Anythin'. I should've realized when Thran... Why would that be the line drawn in th' sand, but everythin' that was happenin' to me be okay? I'm an idiot."

She was an idiot. But this changed things. This changed all the things.

...how much did the King know? Would this change his plans to kill her? But... no. She'd escaped. She was still his property, he'd said that himself plenty of times, in front of Gareth, so it had to be true. It had to be the way things actually were. And right now, her rats were probably wrecking mayhem in the castle. Noooot something she'd be forgiven for. The King's desire to kill her: that was real. He'd certainly threatened it enough.

"This is th' dumbest, most fucked up thing that's ever happened to anyone," she declared. She didn't even really understand why it had been done. Just to kill Gareth? Why would anyone ever hate someone else that much? Enough to pull her into it? Enough to risk the King's wrath?

As her mind calmed down from all the screaming, trying to think, she became aware of several things.

"Gareth, don't panic, but there's like at least a hundred rats in yer house right now." He was bound to notice sooner or later. "Also, I'm an idiot, and yer still hurt." She... she needed to finish bandaging him.

She didn't want to let him go.

She nuzzled against the back of his shoulder, wondering if his heat would ever be enough to chase away how cold she felt. "There's a lot I still don't understand, but we... I gotta... I gotta make sure you don't die. Yer not allowed to die, cause yer th' only good thing that's ever happened." Not just to her, but in general, probably. "Then we can sort all of this out an' you can explain why anyone in th' world would want you dead that much an' we can figure out the funniest way t' kill Colin, an' I can tell you that I love you and that I have a plan, but first... First, you gotta be okay. Please be okay. I need you t'be okay."

RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - Tindome - 12-03-2019

"I'd get it. If you did." He wanted to grab her and hold her but didn't know if he had the strength and didn't know if she'd let him. He didn't think she should let him.

"You're not," he insisted. "You had no way of knowing. You're not the one who should've known better. I was. It's my job. I was supposed to be keeping you safe." He swallowed back the ache in his throat. "There's. An escape clause. If you change your mind. If you give up. If you'd rather… die on your own terms." It had only been invoked a few times, by the uniquely spiteful or fatalistic, opposed wholeheartedly to the possibility that the King might decide their fate. "I thought. I kept thinking you. Did he tell you? That was an option?"

He contemplated the size of his house, and all the things he'd want to sterilize. "Okay." This wasn't really the time for that conversation. He was tired, and dizzy, and if she wanted to sleep in a bizarre horde of rats she'd probably earned it.

"I'm. It's fine." He'd felt more dead than this before, he thought. Unless dying felt less like dying than he thought it should. He wanted to latch on to the word love, the idea, but it didn't feel right to him now that he knew what he knew.

"It's. Possible. That he is under the. Mistaken. Impression. That I have some kind of… control. Over the King."


RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - SolitareLee - 12-03-2019

"No!" she snapped, holding tighter even though, logistically, she should not be squeezing him at all. "I don't want you t'die! Yer not allowed to!" Her fingers tightened against his skin. "If I'd talked t'you about it, even once, this wouldn'ta happened. You've been stabbed, fer fuck's sake." And she'd almost died like at minimum twice. "If it's not my fault, it's not yer fault either. Actually, thinkin' about it, I'm pretty sure I know who's fault it is."

Well, maybe two people. The King still wanted to kill her, and until she knew the exact reasons why, it wasn't safe for her. And it wasn't safe for Gareth, either, with Colin around trying to kill him. The only reason he wasn't already dead was because no one could predict a scenario in which "great big sword through the heart" failed to kill a person.

Her train of thought was stopped dead in its tracks by this new news, however. She considered it briefly, then shifted over in front of Gareth, straddling his legs. He didn't seem like he wanted to look at her; she couldn't particularly blame him. But this was important.

"Gareth. I am a woman with a horde of rats in a castle full of rat poison. My boss is a half-demon and my other boss is a dragon who not only wants t'kill me, but gets off on th' fact I'm terrified of him. I have more nightshade than any one person should have, and bundles of brugmansia an' laurel an' hemlock an' god knows what else. No, he didn't tell me about the shitty 'escape clause', but that was always an option fer me. I am here specifically, specifically, because I refuse to fuckin' die. I'm not dyin'. Yer not dyin'. We're both gonna live."

With that taken care of, she started wrapping the bandages again. It was perhaps more awkward from the front, especially given the way he was acting like one or both of them would shatter into a thousand pieces if he touched her, but fuck it. He needed to be bandaged.

"The rats are from the city," she explained, though he had not asked. She felt like she needed to apologize for filling his nice house with city rats, who were always just kind of a lot dirtier than mountain rats, and also all of them and also she had climbed through decade old sewage. She'd keep them on the rafters. It was fine. "I was leavin', y'know, bein' chased, it's the kinda situation where y'need a horde of hundreds of rats. But there's, uh, a blizzard now, an' yer house is like the only shelter here. Sorry."

She was essentially hugging him as she wrapped the bandage around the last few times, but as she was tying it off, she was so startled by what he said that she burst out laughing. Once she started, she couldn't stop; it bubbled out of her hysterically for far too long. When she finally managed to gasp for air and try to steady herself, she had tears in her eyes.

"He thinks what?!" She laughed again. "No one has control over the King! He's a giant fuckin' dragon! That's the whole problem! He jus' does whatever the fuck he wants! What kinda idiot... jus' because he's in love with you or whatever, doesn't mean you can control him! Why in th' fuckin' clouds up above would he think somethin' like that?"

RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - Tindome - 12-03-2019

Gareth was not going to stop blaming himself. If he'd paid better attention, he could have caught this. Would have noticed that Colin was still every inch the shithead he used to be, even without Ranulf there to give the orders. That it had never been Ranulf making him be what he'd been.

He leaned a little, wanting to press his forehead to hers but also not. And the height difference always presented difficulties, but especially now. "This. Explains a lot. About how upset you got when I said you acted like you wanted to hang."

He frowned, brow furrowing. "Why would Avi want to kill you? He's. If he said something, he's… usually just talking about cunnilingus. He does that. Is that why you came?" He smiled. "So I could protect you?" That made him feel better. She was wrong, obviously, but still.

He felt almost embarrassed as he watched her cackle, trying to think of an explanation close enough to the truth to clarify anything. "Dragons aren't usually into politics. As a rule. I… happened to be around. When it happened. Maybe they thought I summoned him. With the wizard powers I don't have. Or else just. Monster solidarity. Like we have meetings. I think they found it easier to believe. Some of them. That it was a conspiracy. That it was my fault."

It was. It was. But not like that, nothing so well-thought-out or sensible as that. Just one bad day full of bad decisions, an abortive attempt at heroism gone awry.

"I… he's not." He thought that was important to clarify. "If you saw him with Bridget, you'd think he loved her. Or with Kari. He's just." He struggled to find the words. "A slut."


RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - SolitareLee - 12-03-2019

Ren blinked, considering. "This also explains a lot about why you said I acted like I wanted to hang. And other things." She considered more. "Oh my god. I musta sounded like the most petulant whiner in the entire fuckin' world." Imagine being slated to hang--sham trial or no--and then being offered a rehabilitation program instead, then complaining about it nonstop. "Fuck, no wonder everyone hates me." Later, when they had more time, they were going to have to go over the last year at length and sort out the misunderstandings.

"That doesn't make any sense," she protested. "Wizards can't summon dragons, not even full-blown ones. They wouldn't want to. It's a terrible idea! An' the castle is full of monsters. The librarian is a werewolf! He keeps a fossegrim on staff fer entertainment!" Actually, saying it like that, it did seem kind of suspicious. What if Colin thought there was some kind of monster conspiracy happening? "Why would he think you were in charge of anythin'? Yer in middle management in a weird prison-adjacent side project. Yer not even in charge of it. Grilka is. Y'know, the giant terrifyin' naga? The much more sensible target for someone thinkin' there was a monster whisperin' in the King's ear?"

Now, she decided, was not the time to argue that the King was very obviously obsessed with him, because thinking about it, most of the reasons she knew that were secrets--not that she could possibly get the King any more angry with her--and also because she was going to need to talk him into leaving, and he definitely wouldn't do that if he knew the King was in love with him.

Even with that topic dodged, however, there was another one she didn't want to have. She'd have to, though, eventually. She sighed, placing a hand gently against his chest. "Y'should lie back down." She shifted backwards, resting her weight on his legs. It wasn't a lot of weight.

"I've seen the King. When you weren't there." Gareth knew about this, sort of. Didn't know any details, because she hadn't wanted to tell him and hadn't been allowed to tell him. "He... didn't make a secret of it. You heard him say I was almost a loss cause. His opinion didn't change after the last time we were together, that's fer damn sure. This time he... he called fer me, when you weren't there. When you weren't around to stop him. He didn't just bust into my room like he does when he wants t' play. I was supposed to get all dolled up to go to the castle. While you weren't there," she reminded him.

She ran stressed hands through her hair. "He's gonna kill me. He was gonna. Still will, if he catches me. He made it. Very. Clear. What'd happen the next time I ran away. An' I did it with prejudice this time." She hadn't really put an upper limit on the amount of damage her rats were allowed to cause. They weren't to kill anyone, but that still left a lot of mayhem up for grabs. And Timothy had always been a little... manic. The castle might have been in flames by now, for all she knew.

"I didn't come here so y'could save me," she confessed, looking pointedly away. "I came here to find out if you'd known what he was plannin'. An' fer Byron," she lied, because she didn't want to say she'd been planning on maybe killing him. "An' to rob you, cause I need supplies," she added, apologetically. "Then I was gonna meet up with Buck, further into the mountains, and get as far from Aeris as I could."

RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - Tindome - 12-03-2019

"No one hates you," he said softly. "I promise."

"It's… complicated." He didn't know how much context he could get away with leaving out. It took a lot to explain how any of this could possibly make sense, even to an idiot. "Grilka was in the dungeon, at the time. Things are better for me."

For everyone, he hoped. Not because he was in charge. She was right: it was Grilka who'd been made High Keeper of the King's Guard, supervisor of the entire project. Grilka just happened to have liked Gareth's ideas. Eir focus was more on managing the guards who did fieldwork, spycraft and gossip and putting talent to good use. Gareth had been the one invested in an overhaul of the whole thing. He'd submitted his proposals just like anyone else.

"Do you know how I joined the King's Guard?"

It didn't take a lot of convincing for him to lie back. He expected relief that didn't come. He tried to process what she was saying, lightheaded.

"What? No. What?" He almost sat up again, but couldn't. He almost threw up again, but didn't. "That's. No. That's too sudden. He wouldn't…" He swallowed. "He has done it before. Killed one of my charges. There were warning signs. He didn't like them. Thought I was wasting time. It was… I would know. If he didn't like you. It's. He's not subtle. This is—I only sent Pudge last night. That's too fast. He wouldn't." He wasn't actually sure if he believed that.

He paused. "Next time?" he repeated.

"… oh." That hurt. He deserved it, but it hurt. He reminded himself that she'd had no reason to trust him, not when he'd been letting this happen to her for almost a year now. It didn't help.


RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - SolitareLee - 12-03-2019

"Things are better for most people," Ren pointed out, because most people hadn't been living in Duke's houses before the King and on the streets after the King. "Don't get me wrong, I believe a violent xenophobic fuckhead like Colin would think there was some kinda evil monster government takeover, but, like. There was. A dragon, it took over. Why fixate on you? Does it have somethin' to do with how you joined the King's Guard?" she tilted her head in confusion. "I know y'said you were already a member before the old King got murked, right?" She hadn't really thought about it much. Gareth acted really old; she had assumed he was in his fifties or something and was just hot because demons aged well, before the King had let his age slip.

She shifted uncomfortably on his legs, before sliding off to sit on the would-be mattress next to him. She listened to the blizzard howling outside, and wondered if maybe Colin would get caught in it and freeze to death before they even managed revenge. "I... may have tried to escape before," she said, evasively. "I'm sure y'can understand why, under the circumstances. The King caught me, an' he--"

What do we teach the hatchlings in the castle, Boldheart? Should I break your hands?

"He wasn't... super happy. He... It hasn't been... subtle. Trust me." She tucked her knees up to her chest, wrapped her arms around them. "He said that I was borin' him. Which I know wouldn't sound like much comin' from anyone else, but given that th' context was how long I'd be livin', y'know..."

She reached one arm down to tangle her hand in his, lacing their fingers. His hands were much bigger than hers, and they didn't lace together as naturally as her hands had with the King. Nonetheless, she found she strongly preferred it.

"I know y'know him a lot better than I do. I don't even begin to understan' what's goin' through his head. I thought we'd ended on an okay note, last time." At least, she had until he'd tricked her and dropped her off locked in a new cell. "But if he didn't wanna kill me before, he will now. Cause I ran. And also, because, I, uh." She. She didn't really wanna. Tell Gareth about that. He'd... find out eventually. "Did some other stuff he won't like," she settled on.

"I wasn't plannin' on comin' here, but I was thinkin', after I got out that there was... there was no way you knew. Cause. You'd throw a fit, right?" Her voice was cracking, but hopeful. "You'd throw a huge, outrageous fit, right, and so he must've not told you, he must've told you to stay home, Colin said you were stayin' home a whole week an' I figured, I figured he tricked you an' you had no idea. I wanted to... I wanted to..." Her hand clenched against his. "I wanted t'see if you'd consider runnin' away with me, if y'hadn't known." It was dumb. It was really dumb.

She definitely wasn't going to mention what she'd been thinking about doing if he had been in on it.

RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - Tindome - 12-03-2019

Gareth shut his eyes. He didn't like this story. He would have preferred it if she'd heard it in gossip, somehow. But she'd been locked in her room by a fuckhead, so. She didn't know a goddamn thing.

"Randaghast was Leopold's Court Wizard," he said dully. "There used to be a tower. A wizard's tower, on the castle. There was an accident. It blew up. Part of a plot against King Leopold. He made a mistake and set it off too early. They decided. When they were figuring out what happened."

As if his father had ever been anything but perfectly precise, as if his father had made mistakes. As if he would have made something so dangerous in their home. As if he had not served the crown with all the loyalty it had never deserved. No one believed the official story, no one. They all knew. Every single person in the castle knew, if they'd known him at all.

"When he died, his wife. Desummoned. He wasn't there anymore, so. The contract tying her to this plane was void. Which just left the traitor's son. Who could rightfully have been executed as a warning. But. He was useful."

"There's. A certain precedent. Is what I mean."

He opened his eyes as she laced her fingers with his. He gave her hand a weak squeeze.

"I wouldn't throw a fit," he said, managing indignation. "I'd. I try to stop him. I always try to stop him. Obviously I wouldn't let him…" He frowned. "Told me? No, he—I—my roof." He gestured vaguely toward the stairs. "There was a hole in my roof. The blizzard was coming, I had to. Fix the roof. I sent a note. I didn't want you to worry. You were. Supposed to spend the day in the library."


RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - SolitareLee - 12-03-2019

Ren's heart clenched, as did her hand against Gareth's. Oh no. Oh no. She had never wondered. Just assumed that somewhere there was a succubus, maybe with an old wizard, since wizards could get pretty old. She'd never been the 'take her home to meet the folks' type and never would be, so she hadn't wondered at all.

"I... I'm sorry," she said, which was wholly inadequate. But she didn't want to say any of the other racing thoughts in her mind, such as 'wasn't the old King an absolute nightmare' and 'how sure are we that's what happened' and 'if I got a shit trial under the current administration I have my doubts about the previous judicial system in this country'. Because none of that mattered. What mattered is Gareth had been orphaned, stuffed in the King's Guard, and probably hadn't fared one little bit better than she had.

"If it helps any," she added weakly. "The King ate my dad. S'not the same. But. Y'know." She pumped her fist slightly, with a strained grin. "Woo. Team tragic orphans!"

She narrowed her eyes, turning back away to consider this new information. Mm. Right. Of course. Yep. Right. Of course. Yeah. Okay. Yep. Yeah. That seemed about right.

"...There is a chance," she said finally. "That Colin is a real fuckin' piece of shit, the King was not plannin' on killin' me tomorrow, an' I set off a rat time bomb in th' castle for no reason. Er. Metaphorical bomb," she added quickly, for clarification. "Literal rats. So, so many rats. Oh man. Ohhhh man."

Mmm. What were the chances the King would take the whole 'lied to and betrayed by an evil man, no one caught it' thing under consideration, when he already wanted to kill her, and also her actions had rats everywhere for a whole blizzard and also she'd gotten Gareth almost killed.

Not great. Not! Great.

"...Fuck," she announced, to the room at large.

RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - Tindome - 12-04-2019

"Oh, clouds," Gareth groaned. "Of course he fucking did." No wonder she was so convinced he'd kill her. Who wouldn't assume, under the circumstances? He hadn't even moved her into the castle when she'd been orphaned, which—that would've been awkward, if he had. Still. He usually had the decency to do that, at least, when someone's father annoyed him.

He started to laugh, even though it hurt and despite his attempts to stop.

"Sorry!" he said, still laughing. "I'm so sorry, it's not funny, I know it's not funny." He would have been more convincing if he weren't catching his breath. "It's just—one day. I was gone for one day. And the fucking castle is—it's drowning in rats." He grabbed for a free pillow, and used it to cover his face, shaking with laughter at the thought of Avi trying to chase rats out of castle. It was horrible, of course—children would be terrified and her rats would probably die.

But it was also really funny.

"One day."


RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - SolitareLee - 12-04-2019

"He ate a lot of dads," Ren said, shrugging. "I ain't special."

Ren grinned sheepishly, despite the fact that, he was right, there was absolutely nothing funny about the situation. "This is why y'can't leave me," she told him. "I panic. And when I panic, I fill the area with like ten rats per cubic meter." She was up from 3 rats per cubic meter, her youthful record, back when she had fewer things to be scared of and less practice. It was, however, much harder to get objective measurements. She had to eyeball it.

She flopped down on the pillows and cushions next to Gareth, her hand still entwined with his. "Might as well laugh about it now," she said with a sigh. It might be their only chance to. "But I'm serious about the rest, Gareth. He might not have been plannin' on killin' me tomorrow, but he is plannin' it. The last time, he..."

Her hand clenched against his and then she pulled it free, rubbing at it with her other hand like she might scrub the physical memory off.

You're only sorry because I caught you and said I was going to break your hands.

"I still don't understand," she said, opting to change the subject from her imminent doom entirely, "is what yer admittedly very depressing and tragic backstory has t'do with Colin thinkin' yer somehow controllin' the King with the seductive evil magicks of yer dick or whatever. He can't possibly think you were involved in whatever they said yer dad was doin'. Y' couldn't have been more than a kid." She rolled over onto her side, curling against his warmth. At least he was still warm. That was a good sign, right?

RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - Tindome - 12-04-2019

"Even if he threatened you—which doesn't mean anything. Everything he says is threatening. I don't think he can not. He sounds like he wants to murder or fuck you. Or both. Always. But even if he was... there's circumstances. We didn't know about Colin. Why you were having so much trouble. That changes things. I can explain it. I won't let him hurt you."

If Avi were capable of making his words match his actions, instead of just menacing all the time, it would save everyone a lot of trouble. But mostly Gareth.

"Fourteen," he said absently. "Old enough." Not that anyone actually believed Randy was a traitor. "If I'd wanted revenge. I guess." He sighed. "I was... the only one there. Other than the princess. When he ate Leopold." That was true, technically. "When he issued the challenge." That was not. "It was... it's been a long time. I haven't done much. I don't know why they would still think... I don't know."


RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - SolitareLee - 12-04-2019

'I won't let him hurt you,' Gareth said, and her heart soared into her throat. Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes, and she buried against his side, trembling faintly.

She had wanted. For so long. To hear him say that. When she was buried in the rocks, with the King's terrible promises lurking by her only escape, all she'd wanted to hear was him to tell her that he wouldn't let the King hurt her. That someone, anyone--but also specifically him was standing between her and death. It was a childish desire, she supposed, to be protected. But it had been her childish desire for so many years that once she had it, she found she had no idea what to do with the sensation.

Now if only she believed it was within his power. Gareth might have seemed larger than life to her at times, in several senses, but no one told the King what he could and couldn't have.

And also she had just filled his whole castle with rats.

Still. Still. If anyone could do it, it would be Gareth. She wanted to just hide behind him and cover her head and wait for everything to turn out, somehow, perfectly fine.

"Fourteen ain't old enough fer shit," she informed him. When she'd been fourteen, she hadn't even begun her vaccine magnum opus. She'd still just been trying to keep herself alive, forget saving anyone else.

Fourteen when his dad had been killed and his mom ripped away from him. Fourteen when he'd been forced into the King's Guard. Five years like that before Avi had killed the king and taken over. She'd only been in the King's Guard for like ten months. The King had said it had been even MORE like a prison, before.

She tried to hold him even closer, as if she wasn't already pressed as close as she could.

"The only one there. Except the king and the princess." Oh, now that painted a picture, didn't it. What would a king be doing with a dragon and a princess and almost no witnesses? It didn't leave much to the imagination. And whatever it had been, it had offended Avi so much that he'd killed and eaten the man. Yeah. That painted a picture alright.

"Okay. So Colin thinks you summoned the King with yer half-wizard powers and then controlled him with yer half-succubus powers, because he's an idiot." She wasn't sure this was correct, but was willing to roll with it since it made the situation only tangentially her fault instead of one hundred percent her fault. "That means he's on his way back to the King, to tell him yer dead. That problem will take care of itself." And they didn't want to be around for the aftermath of that particular rampage. At least, she sure fucking didn't.

Of course, all of this presumed that their guesses were right. That Colin was acting more or less alone. There were other possibilities, and she didn't like any of them.

"What's important right now," she decided, "is keepin' you alive and intact. Is there anythin' I can do? Somethin' I can do to help."

RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - Tindome - 12-04-2019

"It's fine," he said. It helped if he thought of fourteen as old enough. Mature for his age. Basically grown. It didn't help much. But it helped a little.

"Hopefully," Gareth said when she summarized. All the alternatives were worse, and he didn't want to think about them. "There's nothing we can do about it anyway. You're stuck with me." He looked at the window, where snow was sticking to the glass, pinned there by wind. It was impossible to see outside.

"Technically speaking," he mused. "You can't be legally bound by a contract you couldn't read. And... we've been in breach. Even if you could. Breach of contract means you're not held by it. Because of Colin, it's. Legally. I don't think you're King's Guard. Actually."

That was going to be a bitch of a thing to sort out.

"Just. Stay with me, please. I'm. Very tired."

What he wanted, what he really wanted, was to draw a circle. He hadn't needed one in years but he still remembered all the angles, all the letters. He felt so close to dead already, it might not even hurt. Come back into his body after it had some time to calm down without him.

It'd be nice to just be nothing for a while.

"Just stay."


RE: Beg Forgiveness [Closed] - SolitareLee - 12-04-2019

Hope rose in Ren's throat like bile.

Not a King's Guard. Not, technically speaking, the property of the King. Whether or not the King would see it that way was another question altogether, one she was fairly sure she knew the answer to, but. Gareth would make it a whole thing. He'd do all sorts of paperwork. He'd gum it all up in the court systems. It would be a nightmare.

Not necessarily a nightmare in her favor, entirely, because without being in the King's Guard, she was still a criminal slated to hang. And on top of that, the King's go-to method for dealing with problems was to eat the problem. Especially given that she'd did just done several of the crimes again. Mayhem, definitely. But if Gareth told the King that he absolutely could not eat her until they sorted things out, he'd probably actually listen.

...Looking at it that way, Gareth kind of did have some influence over the throne. But. No more than any other royal's lover in history. That was no reason to go around stabbing people through the hearts, let alone torturing some random innocent accidental domestic terrorist entering into your rehabilitation program.

"Of course I'm stayin'," she told him. Ordinarily, she might straddle him to make a point, but he was injured and she really needed to stop straddling and moving him. "I'm stayin' right here."

She worried at her lips with her teeth. What if he fell asleep and didn't wake back up? But on the other hand, he needed to rest to heal, and he couldn't just stay awake until the blizzard passed and she could get a message out for help. It sounded insane out there, and Byron's regular updates on the snow situation with the stable were getting a bit worrying, to boot.

"Gareth," she said, her voice tight with fear. "Isn't there any medicine? Anything at all? Some... some weird demon thing? I have magic blood but I think it only works on rats, but we could try something? I know you have weird arcana books in here somewhere, probably."