Reiterations [Closed] - Printable Version
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RE: Reiterations [Closed] - saronym - 10-20-2019
Holland swallowed a lump of nervousness when she answered. He felt a bit of relief wash over him but the tension was still there like a tight rubber band in the pit of his stomach. “Okay.” He said to demonstrate he was following along. He understood. He nodded slowly.
It made sense to him what she was talking about.
They had hung on to each other for reasons exes did but now Aphrodite had let go and Sanders was still catching up with that fact.
Holland divided his attention between the map, the road, and a few glances at Aphrodite. She was staring straight ahead as she broached the topic of what he had witnessed down in the depths of the CAF. She was a wereleopard. He knew the fact in the sterile way you could know a thing. He wasn’t sure he fully grasped it yet. But he knew that it didn’t matter to him.
It wouldn’t change anything. He was thinking the words as she repeated them back to him.
“It doesn’t change anything.” He reiterated his point as if he wanted to ensure she believed it. “I want to see where this goes. And I want you to feel like you can be yourself with me.”
His blinker clicked peacefully as he waited to make the last turn towards the building where her condo was. “I’m not - exactly - picture perfect. I know what it’s like to be something… or to have something that makes dating complicated. I know what it’s like to feel like maybe you’re inflicting yourself on somebody. I’m not sure if that’s exactly what you’re worried about… I’m just guessing. But I don’t want you to worry.”
Holland whipped into an empty space in the parking lot and shut off the car. He turned towards Aphrodite and with a chipper change of topic he asked, “So, do I get to see your place?” His face darkened almost immediately after. “Or, I would understand if you don’t want visitors…
RE: Reiterations [Closed] - megs - 10-21-2019
Aphrodite's eyes flicked across his face as if she expected his expression to reveal something his words did not. She'd been in the spot enough times to know that it only took a moment for someone to change their mind about her. "I was going to tell you," she admitted, firmly. "I was just waiting for the right time. Waiting...to be sure that it was okay to tell you." She looked bashful for a moment. Looking away from him and sinking back into the seat. When she looked up at him again, it was very reminiscent of a wounded animal. Which is how she felt in that moment. She was hurt and hungry and tired, and he was speaking to her in that soft way. He always sounded like he was apologizing to her for something. "I would like this to go somewhere," she replied. "You can ask me anything you want. About Sanders, or my condition."
They arrived at her condo and they way he invited himself up and then immediately backtracked saddened her. "I would love for you to come up."
Aphrodite exited the Jeep and led Holland to her condo, after getting an extra key from the office. . They rode the elevator to the third floor and walked down to the end of the hall.
"Here it is," she announced, unlocking the door and pushing it open. It was a chic corner unit with large windows encompassing two of the living room walls. There seemed to be a lot more space in it now that Julianna had moved out. Not that Holland would be able to tell the difference. It was furnished and decorated with vintage pieces that matched her usual style.
RE: Reiterations [Closed] - saronym - 11-03-2019
A briefly lived sense of peace and come over Holland as he let himself be reassured that she was still interested in him. He even felt that familiar tinge of anticipatory excitement when he had a crush that was mutual. That pleasant feeling he’d so rarely experienced. Only with two other people in relationships that had failed miserably. Mostly because of him and the way he was. So quickly he was circling back to feeling nervous. He wished he could, for once, just play it cool with a girl. Not dive full into the deep end and drag her down with him. Wasn’t that how it went? He’d be drowning and trying to bring her down with him and they never wanted to go.
He felt distracted by those thoughts and was frowning slightly as he followed Aphrodite to her condo.
Stop. He told himself. Don’t make her wish you were Sanders.
She opened the door and he could hear her chipper voice announcing the space to him. That detachment he felt faded some as he moved inside. The curiosity to examine her space was a welcome distraction from himself.
He hesitated on entering her home wondering what he should do with his shoes. He waited for her to lead and followed her example. She was fine wearing shoes inside so he would too.
He walked around cautiously peering at her things. It was modern and decorated in her own personal style. It was clean and well lit. The ample sunlight made the space both warm and welcoming. He liked a lot of windows and lots of light in a living space.
“I like it. It suits you.”
RE: Reiterations [Closed] - megs - 11-03-2019
Aphrodite felt like she had lost him for a few moments on the way to her apartment. Off in his thoughts. She could see that worried from on his features when she glanced at him. What was he thinking in that moment? She didn't want to put him in the spot again, by asking like she had in the car. Her movie star smile made a brief appearance when he complimented her apartment. Aphrodite gave him a brief tour and pointed out some of the neat landmarks you could see in the city from her window. She offered him a glass of wine and made sure he was comfortable in the living room before she left him for a quick shower. It wasn't the bath that she had been thinking about floating around morosely in, but she wasn't feeling quite that way anymore. Holland was here, in her apartment, and she was feeling a bit of excitement. It was one of the first chances she had to truly be alone with him and talk for a little bit.
The hostess returned with slightly damp hair, and a whole new demeanor. Her pale skin was pink slightly from scrubbing off the dirt and grime, but it appeared as if her darkened mood had swirled down the drain with it. "Thanks for waiting," she said, from the kitchen. She poured a glass of wine for herself. She joined him on the couch, close enough to converse, but not crowding him. She was wearing a silky pajama set. Pink shorts and a button up top decorated with little cacti. "I feel so much better," she sighed. She sipped her wine and leaned an arm over the back of the couch to lounge more comfortably.
"Do you like working for the CAF?" There wasn't anything accusatory in her question.
RE: Reiterations [Closed] - saronym - 11-03-2019
Holland could hear the gentle fall of the water in the shower. It was periodically disrupted when Aphrodite moved around. He was settled on the couch with a glass of wine already three quarters gone by the time she reappeared. The wine had imbued him with it’s warmth and helped to quell some of his nervousness. He was on an empty stomach and wasn’t a regular drinker so the wine was already having a nice effect on him that he didn’t mind at all. He’d entertained himself with her coffee table book which was a history of medicine presented in a way that was tasteful enough to put on your coffee table for general perusal. Holland knew the history of medicine was much less whimsical than the book presented but it was fun to flip through.
He closed the book as Aphrodite was pouring herself wine in the other room. “It’s no problem. I have a new nanny for Rose, so she is well taken care of.” He didn’t know why he felt the need to explain himself. Would he have seemed like a bad father for hanging out after work when he had a young daughter? Honestly, she was probably in better care with a nanny that was CPR certified and trained in early childhood development.
Holland’s gaze swept over Aphrodite’s silky pajamas with the cute print. She somehow toed the line perfectly between cute and sexy. She was all leg and the shorts did nothing to hide that. He didn’t mind.
Holland did a quarter turn towards her so they were more facing each other as they talked. “Um…” he rolled his eyes as he thought of the question. “Well...they paid for my doctorate so I’m maybe a bit biased. There’s a lot of resources in the CAF not available to researchers in the public space. Professors and the like.” He waved his hand in a circular motion, she was an academic, she knew exactly what he was talking about. “There isn’t the pressure to publish like professors have, but I don’t get to do as much of my own research as I would like. I do have to prove how any of my projects would advance their mission, but usually I have pretty decent leeway with that.” He shrugged. “It’s a mixed bag, but I wouldn’t be where I am today without them. I had no prospects for paying for school other than some piddly academic scholarships.”
RE: Reiterations [Closed] - megs - 11-04-2019
Aphrodite sipped at her wine while she listened to Holland. She was interested and understanding. She watched him with an intensity that advertised her interest in him. Her gaze was sometimes overwhelming with her pale eyes. Owen was often squirming under her gentle interrogations, but Holland didn't look as if he minded the attention. She nodded appreciatively, agreeing with his points before taking a large drink from her glass. "My family is wealthy," she explained. "I never acted particularly clever or interested in school." She knew that was likely difficult to believe, since she herself had a doctorate now. "University was the only way they would keep giving me money. I figured I could just party my way through it on their dime. And I did for a while." Aphrodite laughed, rolling her eyes playfully.
"I ended up in a biology class due to a scheduling error. Honestly, my whole schedule felt like an error, since I was three years in and hadn't chosen a major. I went to class, on a whim. Maybe, there would be cute guys, you know?" She wrinkled her nose, cringing at herself. Thinking back on how ridiculous and over-privileged she had been in her college days. She combed a hand through her hair. She grinned at him, resting her head on her hand. "It was the best class I have ever been in. And now I'm a scientist... somehow."
She ran her thumb back and forth over the edge of her class. She was mostly joking by selling herself short. It wasn't that she had no worked as hard as her peers, it had just taken her a bit longer to get there. She looked down at her fingers moving and then back to him. "I got arrested," she said, suddenly as if it had just occurred to her. It obviously had not. The entire day had been a harrowing experience.
"I'm probably going to lose my job."
RE: Reiterations [Closed] - saronym - 11-10-2019
Holland didn't shy away from her prying gaze. Instead he met it even as he tipped his wine glass and finished off the remains of that first serving. He set his glass carefully on her coffee table and then settled back into the position half facing her.Holland listened intently to her brief backstory and found a faint smile creeping over his face. He laughed, looking down at his lap. "the way you talk about your younger self reminds me of Owen some years back. We were assigned roommates when I was doing my Ph.D. He was doing his reconnaissance training then. And honestly he was a mess." Holland was smiling as he reminisced about that time which had been chaotic and miserable and busy. "And so was I."
Holland's brow furrowed with concern as she began processing the events of the day. He laid his hand on her arm where it stretched over the back of the couch. He rubbed his hand over her arm.
"I hope not. But -- if anything happens with your job...or anything at all. Let me help. If I can. Even if you just need to talk."
RE: Reiterations [Closed] - megs - 11-11-2019
Aphrodite exaggerated a cringe. "I am disappointed to say that you are not the first person to point out some similarities between myself and Owen." She wondered as to what Holland had been like in college. Wondered if they had had any almost meetings from being students in scientific fields. Or maybe, earning his degree with the help of the CAF would have kept them too far apart. "Even Julianna was a mess when I was in college, so I think it was just a bad decade for everyone," she joked.
Holland touched her arm and all those random thoughts that had been drifting through her head came to a stop. It wasn't that she immediately forgot any curiosity about him, or any worries about her job. They just suddenly were not as important as that simple touch. She looked away from him for what felt like the first time. Looking to the point where they were making contact. Experimentally, she stretched out her fingers until they lightly touched his arm. His was still wearing the long sleeves of his uniform, so it did not quite have the same effect. "Thank you for everything."
Aphrodite moved closer to him after setting her half full wine glass on the coffee table. Not too close, but close enough. To express and interest, to advertise a desire. One that even her very anxious not-quite steady boyfriend would be able to pick up on. "Since we've met, I've thought about kissing you a lot," she explained. Even though she had moved, her arm remained on the back of the couch. They were still touching. "Would it be okay to kiss you now?"
RE: Reiterations [Closed] - saronym - 11-13-2019
Holland felt a rush of blood to his face when her fingers explored the fabric of his sleeve. He could actually hear the blood like a rhythmic swooshing in his ears. His fingers gently pet her arm, moving higher over her skin to peep just below the sleeve of her silky shirt. She freed her hands of her wine glass and she moved a little bit closer. He knew what it meant but he wasn’t thinking about that. He could smell the soap she washed with. Her blonde hair hung limp and damp around her face. It was beginning to dry on the ends and they sort of frizzed out a bit as the water left her hair. He was transfixed by the hue of her eyes. He had obviously noticed the unique color of her irses before but he had never been this close up to see the flecks of some darker purple amidst the overall pale color.
He looked down at his lap, smiling bashfully when she admitted the content of her thoughts. Kissing him, really?
“I -- um.” His mouth was full of vowels that he couldn’t convert into actual words. “I never had anyone ask to kiss me before.” He laughed nervously not because he was unwilling but quite to the contrary, he was very willing.
“That would be…” He leaned closer to her, their mouths nearly touching. His eyes flicked back and forth between hers and over her face as if he were memorizing every detail. He felt a strong ache to know how her lips felt, how the wine would taste on her mouth. He was buzzing with new needs. “...yeah. That would be… okay.” His words were a bit senseless but he was clearly agreeing to a kiss and if there was any question about that he quickly stamped it out by letting his lips graze over hers.
He was hesitant and exploratory in the way he kissed her. His hand remained on her arm and the other moved up to cup her neck, his thumb resting against on her throat where he could very clearly feel her quickened pulse.
RE: Reiterations [Closed] - megs - 11-17-2019
The blush that bloomed over his face seemed to illuminate his freckles. Dite was close enough now to see the dusting of darker spots of the bridge of his nose and the apple of his cheeks. She had never seen anything so precious in her life. She had never made a man blush before. Would she keep being able to make him blush like this? Her eyes dropped to his mouth, so close to hers that he could feel his breath. That brush of contact sent little tingles from her lips all the way down her spine. He wasn't having the easiest time piecing his words together, but she was definitely getting the idea. That was fine. She could live with making such a smart man a little senseless over her every now and again.
Aphrodite followed Holland's lead. Responding to how he wanted to kiss her. It was gentle and hesitant, like how so much of him was hesitant and gentle. She was something new, and this thing they had agreed to do with something new and he tread carefully into like a man who had been hurt before.
That was fine, she was patient. Aphrodite wanted for little else than his mouth on hers in that moment. The fingers that had been playing with the sleeve of his uniform, moved to curl more solidly around his arm on, still resting on the back of the couch. She hummed a pleased noise against his mouth and the hand against her throat. Her other hand found purchase on his leg, smoothing over his slacks from his knee and upward over his thigh.
RE: Reiterations [Closed] - saronym - 11-18-2019
Holland breathed her in as she initiated more contact. Her touch was encouraging and made him burn for more. He broke the kiss for a moment but the spell still hung over him. He gazed down to where his hand was now touching the silky lapel of her button down pajama shirt. The texture of the fabric felt as glossy as it looked. He pressed his mouth more decisively against hers all of a sudden after the brief respite. His hand moved over her shoulder and down her back smoothing the silken shirt down the curve of her spine.
His other hand left her arm where it was still draped over the back of the couch. It moved upwards to the back of her head. Scrunching up the damp hairs at the nape of her neck, he tilted her head so that he could taste the wine in her mouth. Their bodies were still so far apart, but he was leaning heavily towards her.
He dropped his hand from her back to her leg and hooked it behind her knee. Running his hand up the back of her thigh, he seemed to be inviting her to shift onto his lap. Or perhaps he was moving her leg so she would allow him to push her down and back against the cushions. The invitation for a shift of positions that would bring them closer was there.
RE: Reiterations [Closed] - megs - 11-18-2019
Aphrodite was surprised by the boldness in Holland, but she didn't let it distract her. He stopped kissing her long enough for her to pull in one trembling inhale. She had a moment to glance down at where he fingered the collar of her pajamas in a promising way, before his mouth was crashing against hers again. He coaxed her lips apart with the ministrations of his lips. He coaxed a new position out of her with the movements of his hands. She liked the feel of him on her bare skin. Wouldn't mind a bit more of it. They didn't even have to break contact for her to take his invitation. In a single smooth motion, she pushed herself up from the couch and swung her leg over him. Aphrodite straddled Holland's lap, seated firmly on top of him. Her hands settled on his shoulders from a moment, before smoothing down towards the buttons of his uniform. She considered asking him if she could take it off of him, but didn't want to put a halt to their heavy make-out session. He was being rather bold, so she didn't see any reason why she couldn't be as well.
She hit a snag when it came to kissing and unbuttoning. She pulled away to undo the clasps that dipped between their bodies. Holland leaned forward to help. His breath was hot against her collarbones as she pushed the jacket off of him.
Aphrodite had seen the hint of the tattoos peeking out from beneath his sleeves when they spent time together. Relieved of his jacket, she could see the images on his arms in full. "Oh, wow," she breathed. She touched one of the pieces on his upper arm tentatively. "You're gorgeous," she complimented, peering down at him.
RE: Reiterations [Closed] - saronym - 11-20-2019
Though his invitation was obvious, Holland was surprised nonetheless when she took it. He moved with her trying not to be awkward with his body as he accommodated her place on his lap. Things were moving faster than he planned. He could feel her fingers already working at the buttons of his uniform. But he didn’t mind. He could go with the flow. And besides, his uniform was fitted in a way that constricted his arms when he was reaching and moving around. It was starchy and rough fabric. Not at all comfortable. He wanted to be comfortable in the moment, with her, in general. Their mouths broke apart while they fiddled with his buttons together. His laugh was breathy and he dipped his head to her collar bones. He shrugged out of the uniform top with her help. It felt like a relief to have his arms free.
He looked up at her as she took her first looks at the extent of the tattoos on his arms. Not quite full sleeves yet, but it was obvious what he was working towards. She touched a more recent piece. He wasn’t sure if it’s vibracy caught her or the image itself of an astronaut with the reflection of an alien looking face in the helmet.
Although she seemed to be talking to the whole of him. Not just the art on his arms.
Holland shied away from her compliment, looking down at his lap. Her pale thighs were on full display with her straddling him. Silky pajamas riding high. He put his hands on her hips. His fingers splayed over silky fabric and smooth skin.
“Stop talking, you’re embarrassing me.” He laughed. The smile on his face showed off his teeth and made the corners of his eyes crinkle. When he looked up at her, his eyes were searching, looking to her to show him where they went next.
RE: Reiterations [Closed] - megs - 11-24-2019
She laughed with him as he expressed embarrassment. A soft exhale of air as she continued to be awed by how adorable he was. So shy but in a way that didn't detract from how sexy she found him to be. She had the memory of his breath on her neck and she wanted him to kiss her there. His grip on her hips was encouraging. Aphrodite examined more of his tattoos for a few moments. Their breathing filled the silence as she traced over the designs in his skin. Her touch was light, but not as tentative as she would have been normally. He seemed to be okay with what they were doing at the moment. Holland was more relaxed than she had ever seen him.
She had been waiting for him to show her how far he wanted to go, but he was looking at her to take some of the lead. That was manageable, but she already knew that she would sleep with him if he was amenable. Aphrodite used a hand placed over the back of his neck to draw him in for another quick kiss. "Why don't we take this to my room?" she suggested, the words weighted with obvious intentions.
RE: Reiterations [Closed] - saronym - 01-07-2020
His skin tingled with tiny electric shocks as her fingers explored his tattoos. Holland thought he might die it felt so nice to be touched by her like that. The hair on his arms and goosebumps raised as her fingers passed over his skin. His hands tightened over her hips, feeling the shape of her as she leaned in for another kiss. He sighed against her mouth when she kissed him again.
Maybe she had noticed him growing hard as they kissed. She was asking if he wanted to proceed to a more intimate venue. For a second there, he felt afraid and unsure. His gaze drifted away from her. It had been a long time since he’d been with someone. He didn’t want to disappoint her. But - wasn’t that inevitable?
His hesitation would surely be a disappointment. “I don’t have a condom.” He blurted out.