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Adam's M00sik - Printable Version

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RE: Adam's M00sik - deific - 07-27-2016

Relapse.

Tripped and fallen, traps of mine are laid inside my trapped in mind, I’m running laps, I’m sprinting, I’m- hoping I’ll relapse in time
But I’ve rewrapped half the raps I’ve rhymed because I’m far from satisfied, there’s gotta be a better me and stagnancy would be a crime
So to the boundary I am pressing it, I refuse to give no less than it, my life’s an active beta and I’m the one who’s testing it
Perfection is my duty though I know that is impossible, yet here I keep progressing so perhaps perfection’s plausible
Words spoken from my chest like it’s the only shit I’m giving and I’m not a stranger to death, it’s always present while you’re living
I’m not afraid to die, but sometimes I’m afraid to live, is the sacrifice of going on worth all the shit you give?

Yo, once I had this friend I knew back in my hometown, life was too much for him and now my heart is home-bound
Yeah, when I received the message..I couldn’t believe my eyes, there’s no way that this is happening, yo this must be lies
In that moment I just thought of it, the spread of all the heartbreak, I was thousands of miles away and I even I wished I could restart fate
There must have been another route, another voice, another way, switch me to some other universe where you made the choice to stay
Why can’t it be like that? We can’t accept the loss, we’re fighting it, even as I write this song I’m choked up while reciting it
Even now my vision’s clouded, tears have made it all be fuzzy, and I know I’m not alone while thinking: “Fuck, I miss you, Muzzy”

That’s truly when it hit me like a body to the pavement, the alcohol had tilted me and almost made me cave in
We could have been the same and endured that cold descent, but for you, Muzzy, I live, and refused that bitter end
You would have wanted me to be happy so my heart goes out to you, not religious but I pray that you live on in skies of blue
I’m grateful for the times we had and all the laughs we shared, at my graduation party, man, I’m glad that you were there
Where did all the time go? That felt like it was yesterday, were life a tape and I the hand I’d rewind the shit and press play
Anything to get it back, anything to set it right, fall down seven times, stand up eight, we were always taught to fight

So I put that bottle down and released all of the toxins, sobered up and opened up, dumped out the naproxen
Hit the gym and worked it out, I vented the frustration, I found that I could channel this adrenaline sensation
From there I only built up like a mason, yo, I strengthened it, accepted life for what it is and I’m glad that I have lengthened it
Every challenge that I’ve come across, obstacle, I’m facing it, I’ve found the will to live again and now there’s no replacing it
I swear that I will hold that, promise I won’t fold back, when life goes south, turn on a dime and convince myself that I am fine
No matter what will come up I’ll keep heading for my prime and always I’ll be thankful knowing I relapsed in time.







RE: Adam's M00sik - deific - 08-10-2016

Ashes


Yo hold up real quick because I swear this time is different, all I tried to do was care but you didn’t know the difference
The distance was a problem but I thought that we could make it, convinced we were unstoppable and nothing quite could shake it
Then as soon as we were into it there was fire, there were flurries, so caught up in our stress ‘cause we were basking in our worries
We both were executioners, the judges and the jury, that meant that sometimes sentences were based upon our fury
Misguided were our actions, thoughts and insecurities, divided into fractions, we fled into obscurity
As the center of my galaxy your memories are flashes ‘cause you torched down my world and left me standing in the ashes

Left with bitterness, disdainful, now even writing’s painful, bereft, I guess I sit through this feeling empty and ungrateful
Was the time we spent all wasteful, turn the cogs and change the rhythm, perhaps you were unfaithful, from my mind I’m never ridden
So it’s toxic and hateful, we’ve turned over the tables, awkwardness ensues, even consciences are shameful
But can there be recovery when love is something potent, so caught up in the moment that our regrets, they go unnoticed
Surely you must know this, I’m locked in this hypnosis, my hands are numb, my mind is blank, it’s impossible to focus
Heart and brain, it all detaches, I’ve soaked up all the lashes, I look to you for just the truth, do you blame me for the ashes?

It seems forever since we’ve reconciled, pause the play, still in denial, am I preaching to the choir as my lungs begin to tire?
Are these words even worth it? Am I repeating myself? Is the hole digging deeper? Am I misleading myself?
Am I esteemed in this hell? Am I alone in this shell? Is the world just collapsing and I’m too feebled to tell?
Is my Stockholm legit? Am I trapped with this shit? Am I nothing but a blind man in an emotional fit?
Do we deserve all that happened? Can’t curb the nightmares and heartache, it’s a saddening trial full of frightening heartbreak
Scared, I start to shake, thinking of time as it passes, what was then is now gone, what do I do with these ashes?

And so I crack, I shatter, hoping you’ve forgiven me, if love is all that matters then forever it’ll live in me
Pray you don’t belittle me, remember just a little me as I am told the blind unfolds and I see how small you’ve widdled me
But I can’t keep this resentment, we played the cards and tried our best, think of how much all this meant then, we flopped and seemed to fail the test
Should this all be pent then? I’m haunted by these choices, poetry in motion can’t calm down all these voices
Never am I free from them even in my slumber, the what if’s always multiply and leave me stuck with wonder
Did we snuff out this light with our powerful passion? You are still the world but now I am just the ashes.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zj9DcmQcRgU&ab_channel=DansonnBeats



RE: Adam's M00sik - deific - 08-10-2016

Conflict



So say what you mean and mean what you say, abandon the idea of me going away, I've come down from the mountain and clouds and now I'm here to stay
A crack in the earth, a fissure is crumbling, this seismic seizure leaves you standing and stumbling, you're trying to find the epicenter, but now you're just left wondering
And I could hardly blame ya' for the fright and confusion, senses all blurred 'cause I caused a contusion, there's no point in staying this fight because we both know that you're losing
With no interruptions between us we're locked tightly in a duel, but there's some truth I gotta be telling you man, fate has played you for a fool
But I appreciate your posture and the fact you've got a backbone, though this body of mine is built to last and I'm gonna be sending you back home
Not with bruises, nah in a casket, give me your piece of mind and I'll blast it, from the first strike to the last hit there's no way you can outlast it
So quit the charades and show me your best, can't handle the thought of you giving me less, now that'd be some audacity, but alas now, I digress
Fuck the rest of the people standing here, now it's just you and I, I'll give you the courtesy of telling me one last thing before you die

Suddenly right now this guy standing before me wants to be kind, I must be missing something, I'll tell you one thing, this fucker is out of his mind
He's perching on his pedestal and happily bloating his ego, a monster like a windigo, his first mistake was messing with me though
Coming from this fucked up view he wants to think that I'm the underdog, torn asunder when the plunder's wrong, I'm gonna be showing him the thunder's song
And these mountains that he came from, yeah I'm splitting them down the middle, but either way they would be doomed 'cause time erodes them little by little
Even in your ignorance you wanna hold me to your standard, but I'm above it and I love it, and it's proven by my lanyard
No matter how many times you knock me down, I'm gonna force myself to stand up, you won't find me down on a knee and I won't be putting my hands up
So now I'm coming at you at mach four, breaking through all of those locked doors, there's no way that you can escape me, it's time we settled the score
If Gods were upon the battlefield then I would be the reaper, you can safely call me Thanatos because death is your only keeper

You act like the prophesy here is ridiculous, but I'm the hero inscribed, I'll stick to this, I'm breaking your jaw when it hits my fist, there's no point in being meticulous
If you're the god of death then I'm the god of time, reversing this scheme to dispatch your rhymes, your followers will quake at the sign when your blood is upon the shrine
With fear engraved upon their worship, they've taken not one sure step, hold up on that first bet 'cause you haven't broken this horse yet
What if I told you that nothing you do will work in phasing me out, I'll show you what I'm all about and you'll shout without a doubt
I've traveled a hundred thousand miles, solved the puzzle, survived the trials, I've transformed a million smiles 'cause the bodies are stacked in piles
Like a wall that's built by spartans, it's demoralizing and disheartens every man whose being judged and is being outweighed by his heart's sins
Approach the war machine, I'll show you what eternal means, it's similar to lucid sleep but there's no waking from these dreams
So here comes another warning, it's your final chance to speak now, the clock is ticking dangerously and very soon I'll make you shriek loud

The sentiment has gone unheard but I think that it's so absurd that through all the bullshit you've been talking you still want me to be deterred
I'm not scared, I'm not shaking, above all else you are mistaken, this is grit that I have mustered for all these years I have forsaken
Many before you tried to use the same strategy you're exercising, I understand you're attempting gratitude but also know of who you're sizing
I'm a terror, a monstrosity, all your words are lost on me, now you'll suffer an atrocity for ever thinking of crossing me
And I won't give that sentiment, you brought the fight and now I'm ending it, I don't know where your heaven is, but your soul I will be sending to it
Quit questioning my testament as if you've seen the best of it, you have an attitude that I abhor, this arrogance I am detesting it
No gameplan, I'm pressing it, I'm about to set a precedence, disarming and destroying you as if you are a pestilence
Now cease the words, end this nonsense, I'm a poison upon your conscience, your end is nigh, you can't deny if you keep treating this like a contest.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=giprHa0hegw



RE: Adam's M00sik - deific - 06-04-2017

Outrage


I've come a long way and I'm inspired to say, it's been a long time since my shit's been vibing this way,
All the pent up emotion and everything I hold dear is being spewed onto the parchment that you're viewing right here,
Now where do I put this? Any way I can hide it? I can change what the look is, like I covered and dyed it,
But to no avail, the color's bleeding right through, and I'm back to square one thinking "What should I do?"
Should I give in and become one with this ocean? Path of least resistance, just succumb to the motions,
Or should I fight that, bite back, control the emotions? I've had a long-winded battle with this painful devotion
Regardless of time, man, I always come back, my heart always feels strong, so how do I numb that?
More harm than good, now where is the sun at? Every start I fall apart as if I'm locked up in combat
So escape is impossible and I'm left with one choice, do I let it consume me or do I lower my voice?
Is there really a point? Do I have that much freedom? I've been surrounded by friends but told myself I don't need 'em
Then I buckle, and break, a mistake, I was wrong, too much faith in myself, I've been relying too long
I count back from ten thinking then it'll end before my mind starts running circles again and again

Don't get the wrong idea, I'm calming my dyspnea, I've matured over time and I think that there could be a-
A way that I can do this, for sure I can improve, I'm taking back my sanity with move after move
With every step I take and the momentum I'm giving it, I'm steering away from all the outrage I'm living in
Righting all my wrongs 'till they're small, meager, driven thin and everyone who's crossed me, I'm finally forgiving them
No more wasted hate, no more darkened deceptions, I think that sometimes people forget that words can be weapons
They're double-edged because of the way they can pry, they get in your skin, mind, body, inside
And endless they spread until they're festering, fed, but now I part from the bad and pick the good up instead
I find that it's easier than to take up the stress, with the strength I possess to this now I confess
That it's time for me to pick myself up, move on, I swear that I will live by these rights 'till I'm gone
I'm aware of my faults, but don't you try to incite them, you should love me because of them, not just despite them
They're part of my being, something I can't dismiss, so here now, I ask you, "Are you ready for this?"
Do I give up this far like I always had then or do I push myself to be better again and again?

The conflict is timeless and does its best now to ail me, I've gotten to this point, nerves, don't you dare fail me
I refuse to move backwards with these thoughts and the stacked words, I've done it so much and I remember how that hurts
Never again, no, I know that's a lie, nobody's perfect but by god do they try
But it isn't in vain no matter how much you falter, I once was abyssal but now I stand on the altar
Then I lift, and rise, a hope, I am whole, the journey is the mission and the endgame's the goal
I'll carry all this weight on my back for the time being, look to my ambitions, that's where you'll find me
Constantly forward without a chance to regress, I've accepted the responsibility of this mess
And I hold it with courage, duty, honor and dignity, not a shred of hesitation, doubt doesn't live in me
I know who I am, I'm not afraid of adversity, I'm here and I have grown, every curse is a gift to me
It encourages challenge and I'm yearning to taste it because every shot you don't take is a shot you have wasted
I'm not satisfied with simple, dull, or mediocre, but I don't embrace insanity, no, I'm not The Joker
I'm just a man with a pen and I only intend to be the one I needed to be before again and again



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtaS47nbDqI



RE: Adam's M00sik - deific - 03-09-2019

Wolves

Talkin' about these wolves, debating on which now to feed
My instincts versus logic, focus, remember how to breathe
It's based upon my core, but somehow it don't bother me
I'd rather starve my heart if that's what it takes for me to see

On one hand we have the enabler, no walls, the doors are open
But understand I have a castle, the surrounding moat is growing
While I search for opportunity shrouded in this optimism
I know I must be true to me and evaluate the top decisions
Nothing ventured, nothing gained, the foreboding is exciting
Yet my soul is battle-scarred and it's weary from the fighting
Driving on, looking back, I'm preparing for my futures
Violent nightmares are the lesion and I'm always lacking sutures

So I push forward and I bleed black, restricted vessels in my heart track
Priorities all fucked up and sometimes I might mismatch
And I feed the one, suffocate the other, exalted crown compared to the gutter
The kingdom and the peasantry both shedding light on the same color
Then the comfort switches, hemorrhage, it pitches, what I thought was wealth was actually far from riches
And I tried so hard, man, I was so ambitious, but I learned to stop being superstitious
And I raised these wolves, but they're hard to father, my insecurities like cannon fodder
No middle ground, I'm all cold and bothered, and it's either that or be yoked and collared

Tomorrow's the question and comfort's the zone, every step I take further is farther from home
Trials and challenges, everything's shown, as these wolves are gnawing my flesh to my bone
They're deceiving diseases, deceit and defeat is- altering my mind, now how do I beat this?
By now I don't understand what good a feat is, victory is bitterly picking the pieces
Nothing prevails, regression entails that these wolves are steadily focused on fails
When I support the one, the other, it trails, waits 'till I'm weak and then it assails
The good and the bad and the evil in action, these factions have divided me into fractions
Petrified fear, a valid reaction, the feverish heart, like is a ballad distraction

So what do I do with the ebb and the flow? When one of them comes, the other must go
So how do I balance, how do I know? How can I tell when to reap what I sow?
How can I differ from stagnance and grow? When covered by light, can you possibly glow?
How do I run from the darkness and woe? Do I accept that a goodbye will follow hello?
Forsaken misfortune, so long ago, does a bad thing mean good will eventually show?
Like towering mountains covered in snow, ominous omens, yet hallowed in tow
Covered by chains, meaning to slow, how do I compensate foes that I owe?
All those who rise are bound to plateau, compromise with quid, the pro and the quo

These fucking wolves enforce fearful false design, indulging them is a common fault of mine
The bad assumed will soon assault the spine while the good is fine when time's combined
But I'm back and forth, so indecisive, can't make my mind, it confides then hides it
Can't begin to gauge, no way to size it, I accept the loss, then defy to spite it
And I might deny it with quiet defiance, or I'll change my stance, be quite compliant
Either way, no undermining, they say it's tragic, So I'll redefine it
Can't hurt my pride, don't try a lion, duos, I'm assigned a pack alliance
It's not reliance, I'm a flying giant, reserving's just an apt appliance

Then I snap back from this dreamland with my wits sharp, no sleep, and
No longer try to be apart, these wolves and I, together we stand
And we've planned every season despite the fights and the reasons
To depart the start with heart, all else is treason
And I saw the law raise and bare its claw, my resistance act the final straw
Locked me silent like a frozen jaw, cryogenic, I'm not meant to thaw
The wolves reaction like a rolling dice, a device to determine and judge my vice
Polar-tempered, yet paradise, can't communicate if I don't break the ice

Even after all these struggles I still don't know which one to feed
Every step I take is hesitant, are these warnings that I should heed?
Do I need to make this plead? Do they direct this life that I lead?
The grievance supersedes and it's got me down upon my knees
It's like I've lost all forms of control, they don't care about the toil and this toll
No longer lurking, they've become bold, they're just waiting for the moment I fold
Inside me creeping this wrapping cold, I'm just trying to break this trapping mold
I've been battling this for fate untold, it's endless, it can't be controlled.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PrXuNJfQJk8